Till it Feels Like Cheating
by WritelkeUmeanit
Summary: She isnt wearing his ring. He doesnt live in her house. Hes alone, carrying enough anger to fill a suitcase. Her heart's in two with another man by her side. And on one night, they cant help but give into temptation. Romance/Angst/Drama. Some M-ish Scenes
1. Back to Reality

**Author's Note-**

**So I'm giving this writing with another author thing a second go. Well third, really, lol. And though the actual partnering up didn't turn out too well in the past, the stories came out just fine. More than fine. At least I think so- no, scratch that, I **_**know**_** so. Those stories got good reviews, baby, read 'em and weep! Yeah, I'm tooting my own horn there. **

**Anyway, back to the task at hand. Our new story. So my best friend and I are taking a crack at something that I don't think has been done before. At least we haven't seen it in the fan fiction world. **

**The Seventh season is something that I think is pretty foreign to GG fans. At least Java Junkies. Let's face it, the show went downhill during the latter of the six and just plummeted after that. The seventh was painful to watch sometimes, 'cause come on, Lorelai and Chris. Ick! Major ick! Having said that, my friend and I don't know the season all too well, but we know enough to know that it was just ridiculous. While I appreciate the attempt to give Lorelai and Chris closure- despite that it was a success- I don't agree with how it was done. But that's what we're dealing with here. And just be warned that we may take some liberties with the writing. Tweak some lines and things from the show. **

**So I'm gonna set the stage. Lorelai and Chris are together. In fact, they just got married. But soon after, Lorelai gets a call from a panicked Luke. Something's wrong with April. This unfortunate event brings two past lovers together to come face to face in a hospital waiting room. But that word, past, it's a funny thing. It implies that that's it. There's no more. Nothing else is there. Stick a fork in it, it's done. So maybe past isn't the right word, 'cause they're not done. Not by a long shot. And the situation is as complicated as ever. **

**And here we go!**

**Till it Feels Like Cheating **

_Written by: Kaci(turtle)- LGandLDforever and Britt(Rover)- Sistaz4eva_

**Chapter one: Back to Reality**

_Crapshack_

"She just needs time to adjust," Lorelai said to Chris, though she was trying to convince herself more than anything.

Chris shrugged. "Okay," he said, still ticked off that his wife didn't talk to him about this beforehand. That she didn't tell him Rory was upset about the marriage.

Her brows quirked as she asked, "okay?" expecting him to say more.

Chris nodded while turning down the hall. "There's a few more things I gotta bring in from the car," he said, his voice fading just a bit with every step. "And I'm moving the desk. Rory won't mind," he said, like he was the king, and his word was final.

Lorelai sighed. She turned back to her daughter's room and couldn't help but wonder if she was doing the right thing.

"Us, us, it's not just my decision anymore," she corrected her thoughts in a whisper. "It's just a desk. He's right, it's just a desk."

And that was the problem she had earlier, when telling Rory. She wanted to do it herself, break the news to Rory alone, not used to having her baby's daddy around. She had always made parental decisions and things of the sort, by herself.

But it was different now.

Lorelai frowned at the bedroom, the room that would undergo quite a change in a matter of minutes, as fast as Chris could bring in GiGi's things. And she tried to picture it. She tried to picture a four year old's things in place of her grown daughter's. But she couldn't. She couldn't see the girl's Disney princess coloring table in place of Rory's desk that held picture frames, old school binders and even a few books that were scattered across the surface. She couldn't see GiGi's pink dresser where Rory's closet stood, the piece of furniture still holding some of the Yale student's clothing. She couldn't see trundle beds- Chris' idea- where Rory's bed resides. The picture just wasn't coming together, and that scared Lorelai.

The Gilmore took in a deep breath before turning away from the room. She didn't want to be there when it would change.

Lorelai wandered upstairs slowly, her arms circled around her stomach as she wished for her daughter's call. She couldn't stand the silence. She wanted to talk things out. Get everything out in the open.

When she reached her room, the phone rang and she rushed to her bed to swipe the portable.

"Hello?" she answered without casting a glance at the caller I.D

"April's really sick, and I don't know what to do. She's got a fever, and it's her stomach, and she's really pale, so I don't," Luke started in a rush.

Lorelai panicked at Luke's voice, her eyes wide as she turned and looked behind her. But she reacted quickly and stopped Luke before he could go on further. "Okay. Slow Down. Did she throw up?" Lorelai asked, her brows furrowed, and her eyes and ears on alert as she kept her stare locked on the door.

"No."

"Did she eat something bad?" Lorelai fished

"No. she hasn't eaten all day."

Lorelai lips fell further. "Aw, where does it hurt?"

"She's holding her side," the man reported, his worried eyes on his daughter.

"Which side?" Lorelai asked automatically.

"Her right side and it's getting worse, Lorelai," he said desperately.

The Gilmore blew out a quiet breath. _"Lorelai_," her name bounced through her head. Luke saying her name, it always had a certain ring. When he said her name, he_ really_ said her name. Every sound, every syllable. And unfortunately, she hadn't forgotten.

"It could be appendicitis," she murmured, shaking the daze away.

"Appendicitis?" Luke panicked. "Really?"

Lorelai nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, yeah, but it's gonna be okay," she tried to assure him. "But you should take her right to the hospital," the woman cautioned. "Take her to St. Joseph's."

"Okay, okay," he said while spinning around, trying to find his keys. "Thanks," he said before hanging up.

Lorelai sighed at the dial tone. "You're welcome," she whispered.

_St. Joseph's Hospital-waiting Room_

Luke sighed as he slumped down into the too small chair. There was a couple behind him, fighting about a meter and he couldn't help but think of Lorelai. The couple sounded just like he and the Gilmore had. They fought like that all time, about small, stupid things just like that. All the time.

"Hey," Lorelai's called, her voice cautious as she jarred him from his thoughts.

The man's head snapped up.

"Oh, hey. Hi," he sputtered, surprised to see her there.

Lorelai hugged her jacket closer to her body, her arms folded underneath it. "How is she?"

Luke shrugged. "In surgery."

Lorelai frowned. "Oh, man," she said, her face fallen. "How long?"

"Almost an hour," he reported.

Lorelai nodded and she couldn't help but note the worry in his eyes. And the fear. He looked scared. So scared. Just like he did that night. The night she gave him an ultimatum. And Lorelai couldn't keep the freeze frame from her mind if she tried.

There was a second, just after she told him now or never, when his eyes widened and he panicked. He looked terrified. But he didn't react. Not physically. He didn't yell to stop her, didn't grab her hand, and didn't do anything. Not until it was too late. Not until it was over.

Lorelai shook her head, coming back from the past. "She'll be okay" she said.

"Yeah," Luke agreed with a tired sigh.

"So it was appendicitis?" Lorelai asked.

The man nodded. "You, uh, you didn't have to- you know, you didn't have to come," he stuttered.

Lorelai nodded. "There's nothing worse than taking your kid to the emergency room. You know, I remember Rory had food poisoning, and they had to hook her up to an I. V. And she just looked so little and so scared, it made me feel like they were gonna have to hook me up to an I.V," she said nervously.

Luke nodded. "I was almost out of my mind, I was so scared. I mean at one point, I got so panicked, I was thinking maybe I'd give her my appendix, you know if they could do some kind of a transplant or something. But I was a little out of my mind," he said with a wince.

Lorelai gave a sympathetic nod. "Well, I'm glad she's gonna be okay," she said truthfully.

It was never that she hated April. She actually was just starting to get close to the girl when things came crashing down.

And then a nurse walked in, calling Luke's attention, wanting to report on the progress of the surgery.

"Mr. and Mrs. Nardini?" the nurse asked.

Luke shook his head. "Oh, no. Hi, I'm Luke Danes. I'm April's dad."

The nurse nodded. "Well, I just spoke with a doctor who was working on your daughter, and they're almost through. She's just being put back together, and then we'll move her to recovery," the woman said with a smile. "And then you and your wife can go in and see her.

Lorelai shook her head. "No, she's not my,"

"No, I'm not, uh," Luke echoed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake, I just assumed because of the ring," she said while gesturing to the wedding ring on Lorelai's finger.

The Gilmore looked down and automatically tried to hide her hand, but Luke managed to catch a glimpse and his eyes widened.

"We'll call you when she's out," the nurse promised before turning around.

The man was too distracted to say anything, his questioning gaze locked on the ring.

Lorelai looked down self consciously as she twisted the ring with her finger.

"What the hell is that?" Luke asked point blank a second later.

Lorelai sighed. "You know what it is," she said, her voice quiet as she avoided his eyes.

"You married him?" he asked, unable to believe it.

Lorelai sighed. "Are we really gonna do this here?" she asked while looking up, her eyes begging for him to back off. She couldn't do this. Not now. She didn't want to fight with him.

"It _has_ to be him, right?" he asked, not letting up. "I mean you hit the ground running, didn't you? Not a second later, you slept with the jerk. So, I shouldn't be surprised that you're moving so damn fast. Where the hell's the fire, Lorelai?" he demanded.

Her brows quirked. "Excuse me?" she challenged.

"You told me! You told me you were over him! You told me there was nothing there!" he exclaimed, the anger boiling to the surface. "And now you're wearing his damn ring?!"

"Um, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to quiet down, or please go outside," the receptionist requested.

"You didn't stop me! You let me walk away! What do you want from me, Luke?!" Lorelai shouted desperately, her eyes clouding with pain as she tried to keep from going back to the past.

"If I have to ask again, I'm calling security," the woman warned.

Luke turned and headed for the door, leaving Lorelai no choice but to follow him.

With his hands on his hips, he swiveled to look at her the second they reached the street. "You jumped in bed with him," he accused; his voice low and his eyes firm on her. "I didn't deserve that."

"And I didn't' deserve what you put me through, but it happened!" she retorted. She wouldn't be the only bad guy here.

"I'm sorry that I don't move as fast as you do, Lorelai, but you know that! You know I need time to process, you _know_ that!" he emphasized, his voice strangled.

"Months, Luke! For _months_ you were shutting me out! I had to do something!"

"No, no," Luke refused as he paced in front of her. "You didn't. It didn't have to be now or never. It didn't," he said, his tone shifting to disappointment.

Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut, keeping the boiling water under the surface. "I can't do this, Luke," she whispered. "It hurts. It hurts so damn much," she said while shaking her head.

Luke huffed out a few breaths as his arms fell to his sides. "Why?" he whispered. "Just tell me why, Lorelai."

She shook her head, burying her face in her hands.

"Lorelai, please," Luke pushed, though his voice low. "Why?" he repeated.

She finally looked up at him with glassy eyes and Luke's face fell further. "I can't," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked again, keeping his eyes on her.

"Because," she started. "I don't _know _why."

Luke didn't know what to say to that. What could he say? Did his opinion even matter anymore? She was _married_. He couldn't wrap his head around that concept, it made him sick to his stomach, maybe someone was going to have to take out his appendix.

Lorelai looked down at the floor again, obviously uncomfortable. They stood in silence, neither of them moving.

He wanted to ask her what the hell she was thinking, why the hell things had gotten so complicated, why she was willing to throw everything they had away for _him_. It all had happened way too fast.

"Lorelai…" He wasn't sure what to say, but he couldn't just stand there and say nothing. He was the man, he was supposed to take control, but right now, he didn't feel that way. This was beyond his control and he quickly realized there was nothing he could do.

"Luke, April is going to be ready for you soon, you should go. She needs you." Lorelai said, a different tone in her voice. She was avoiding the problem again, and as much as he wanted to call her on it, she was right. His daughter was waiting.

"But Lorelai," He didn't want her to go just yet, but he couldn't form the words. He moved closer to her, but she stepped back.

"I gotta go," she said abruptly, avoiding his eyes while pleading to God that the tears wouldn't spill over. And before he could respond, she was walking away. Again.


	2. Gilmore's got Fightin' Words

**Authors Note- **

**Britt and I want to thank everyone for the positive responses to our new story!! We've got big, BIG plans for this and we're over the moon that you're all on board with us! So buckle up and get ready, 'cause we got another one for ya! Enjoy! And please review when you're finished, :D.**

**Oh, and of course review responses are in your inboxes! **

**Till it Feels Like Cheating**

_Written by: Kaci and Britt_

**Chapter Two: Gilmore's got Fightin' Words**

"_You told me! You told me you were over him! You told me there was nothing there! And now you're wearing his damn ring?!"_

His words stung. They kept playing over and over again in her head, and no matter how loud she turned up the radio, they wouldn't go away. Lorelai didn't want to have that conversation, not with him, not even with herself. But she did. And it went up in flames.

Lorelai couldn't believe what just happened. She was cursing herself for going to the hospital, wondering what the hell she was thinking. That was the first time they talked since… she didn't even know how long, and it just ended horribly.

"April," she whispered.

And that's why she went there, for April, _just_ for April. Not to see Luke. Because she lied when she said she was over Chris, right? Just a few years ago when she swore to Luke there was nothing there anymore, it couldn't have been true. She had to have been lying. That's what her thoughts said, though to an onlooker, it would seem like she was trying to convince herself of that rather than stating fact. And she was.

"There's something there," she said firmly. "I love him. I. Love. Christopher. I do," she finished in a whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. But she wiped it away quickly. She wasn't going to cry.

And as she drove further and further away from the hospital, she couldn't get rid of that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

_Meanwhile_

_Hospital_

Luke took an unsteady breath as he turned back to the door. He tried to shake it off, pretend he didn't care that she was wearing his ring, but he couldn't. He did care. It was like a blow to the stomach, seeing that on her finger. More than a blow. Like a stab in the gut. He wanted to jump in his truck, hit the gas, show up at the jerk's doorstep and punch his lights out. Again. This time harder. He was out for blood.

"Mr. Danes, there you are," a nurse interrupted his thoughts while approaching. "Your daughter is in recovery. She wants to see you."

The man nodded. "Thanks," he said before turning away.

"Room 117!" she called after him.

Luke blew out a breath while heading for April, putting everything else aside. He had to be there for his kid.

_Logan's_

Lorelai took a deep breath before raising her closed fist to the door. Her eyes fluttered closed and she tried to relax, get a grip, before knocking.

She stood there, almost holding a breath before Logan answered.

"Hey," he said, looking a little confused to see her.

"Hi," she returned, managing a quick, small smile. "I'm sorry. I would have buzzed up, but um, I saw a delivery guy coming in, so I slipped in with him. Boy, they sure do eat well over in 4-F, huh?" she babbled nervously.

Logan grinned.

Lorelai sighed. "Can I come in?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sure. Come on in," he said while stepping back.

Hearing the more than familiar voice, Rory rounded the corner and frowned at her mother. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well, I just—I wanted to see you," she sputtered.

Noticing the tense situation, Logan went to excuse himself, leaving mother and daughter alone.

Once he was gone and she had thanked him, Lorelai turned back to her daughter. "I'm guessing your cell phone's not broken, huh?"

Rory shrugged. "I just didn't feel much like talking."

"I know," she said with an understanding nod. "Look, I know you're upset. I know this seems sudden and like we didn't think it through. And in a way, it was impulsive, but in other ways it's been twenty years in the making."

Rory's brows furrowed. "Twenty years in the making?" she question, almost with disgust. The girl shook her head. "It wasn't, mom, and you can tell yourself that it was a dozen times, but it wasn't. Isn't," she said firmly. She looked down at the floor while crossing her arms over her chest. "I should have been there when you got married," she said in just above a whisper.

"Rory, I'm sorry, but your dad and I,"

"No," she interrupted with a shake of her head. "You're moving way too fast, mom," she cautioned. "I should have stopped this in the beginning," she murmured.

Lorelai's face fell. "Hey, I know it's big. It's a big change, but nothing's gonna change between you and me," she said. "We're still the Gilmore girls. It's still you and me against the world, hon. That won't be different."

"Do you love him?" Rory asked bluntly and suddenly.

"Yes," Lorelai said automatically.

"Did you change your last name?"

"No. Hayden? I don't want to be Mrs. Hayden planetarium for the rest of my life. I'm Lorelai Gilmore, okay? Lorelai Gilmore without the 'Gilmore' is like… Gil, you know, less," she said with a shrug, trying to ease the situation.

"It's funny because with Luke, you always said you would add the Danes," she reminded her mother, daring to say the name that had been sort of taboo.

Lorelai sighed. "I'm not getting into this, Rory. I love your dad and we're married. If you're not okay with that right now, I'm sorry, but I hope as time goes by you'll see that this is right. That we work."

"No, you don't love him. You don't," Rory refused. "I just—I can't believe this. I mean my parents are together; this is every little kid's dream, right? But I'm not a little kid and I know better, mom. I know you love Luke. I know you never loved dad, not like you love Luke," she stressed.

"Rory, please," Lorelai tried to stop her.

"No, mom, I won't keep going along with this. You're just setting yourself up to get hurt here, why can't you see that?" Rory asked desperately.

"I didn't come here to fight with you," Lorelai said firmly. She had enough of that earlier. "I'm sorry you're upset, but you'll see, you'll see this is right," she said before turning for the door.

"Wait," Rory said while reaching to grab her mother's arm.

Lorelai turned back to look at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry," the young Gilmore apologized. "I just… why?" she asked. "Why so fast?"

Lorelai took in a shaky breath.

"_Why? Just tell me why, Lorelai?"_ Luke's whisper snaked through her mind.

Lorelai shook the words away before focusing back on her daughter. "He loves me. He wants to be with me… I just want things to be okay," she said, begging for Rory to understand.

The Yale student nodded. "Just… be careful, okay, mom? And please, no more life altering stunts without me there?" she requested with a small smile.

Lorelai lip's curved. "I promise."

Rory nodded while reaching to hug her mom. Lorelai wrapped her arms around her baby's back and held on tight, letting a moment pass before having to let go.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Rory said.

"Good. Bye, hon," she said before kissing the girl's cheek.

"Bye," she returned before seeing her mother out.

And once Lorelai was gone, Rory sighed, knowing that things weren't right, but also knowing that her mother was just in too much pain and denial to realize. She wasn't seeing things clearly right now, but Rory just hoped that the fog would clear before things got too deep. That's all she could do.

_Later_

_Hospital_

Luke sat at April's bedside, watching his daughter sleep. He really hated hospitals, probably more so than anything. But, right now, it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the girl in front of him. She looked so peaceful, so fragile that he was afraid to touch her.

He sighed, so glad she was okay. So glad that they could go home in a few short hours.

Now that he knew his daughter was going to be perfectly fine, he couldn't help but think about earlier. Maybe she was right; she wasn't the only one at fault. But, what she did was far worse, right? She didn't even give him a day to process. She left him point blank and ran to the other man.

Lorelai knew how Luke felt about her, right? She knew he loved her. She _knew_. So what possessed her to go to Christopher? He just didn't understand.

She knew he needed time to process. He couldn't do things on impulse; he wasn't that kind of man. Why did she have to screw everything up? It took them eight years to get together, and when they finally did, they were _happy_. Right? He thought so. But why was she so willing to throw it all away?

_Okay, I know I screwed up, too. I shouldn't have pushed her away, I shouldn't have. She had doubts that the wedding would happen, and it's my fault." _Luke thought, and couldn't help but sigh.

It was hard for him to express his feelings, yes, that was true. But…Lorelai knew how much he meant to her. She had to.

_But I didn't tell her enough. _

"Damn it, "he cursed low, his voice as he buried his face in his hands.

_Crapshack_

Lorelai walked in through the back door. She stopped at Rory's room—no, scratch that—Rory and GiGi's room. She flicked the light on. The room was pink, she saw a ton of pink. Pink furniture, pink blankets, pink pillows, a pink teddy bear propped up in the center the bed, and she was sure Chris would paint the walls pink the second he got his hands on a bucket of paint. It was so cliché that it gave her a headache.

She and Rory used to make fun of bedrooms like this. It looked like a room chosen to be photographed for a catalog. It didn't look like Rory's room anymore. It _wasn't _Rory's room anymore. There was no visible proof that Rory ever lived in it. Her desk was gone, her bookshelf that Luke spent hours building was gone, her stereo gone. All of it, gone.

She shut the door slowly, unable to look at it for another second.

"Hey," Chris said as she walked into the living room. He was sitting cozy on the couch, watching TV.

"Hey." She stopped at the couch, but didn't sit down.

"How's April?"

"She was still in surgery when I got there; I left before she was done." "_Oh man, I hope she made it out okay" _Lorelai mentally feared about the surgery the teen had to go through.

"Oh. I'm sure she'll be fine," the man waved off. "Do you know what was wrong with her?"

"Appendicitis."

He nodded, "Luke will probably let you know how everything went."

"Yeah, I saw him."

"Was it okay?"

She took a moment before answering. "Yeah, it was," she lied. "_Farthest thing from okay, but what's done is done," _her mind rationalized.

"Good, it was good that you went then," he said, at least half of his attention focused on the T.V in front of him.

Lorelai nodded.

A moment of silence passed before she broke it.

"I went to see Rory afterwards," Lorelai said.

"Oh? How did it go?"

"It was okay, I think it's going to take her some time to adjust, but everything's good."

"Good. I'm glad."

"Me too," Lorelai agreed.

Chris nodded, keeping his stare on the television.

"Well, I'm gonna go up to bed," she said while pointing a thumb at the stair case.

"Be there in a sec," he promised.

"Okay," Lorelai said, her voice small as she turned to the stairs and dragged herself up.

After changing into p.j's, brushing her teeth and tossing her hair up in a loose ponytail, Lorelai crawled across the bed and fell down on her side. She sighed while tipping her face to look at the clock and saw that it was just after nine. It was still early, but she was tired. So emotionally tired that it took over her whole body and all she wanted to do was sleep.

The Gilmore closed her eyes while curling to her side and trying to get comfortable. But the minute her lids closed, she saw Luke. She saw that night. She saw them standing in the street, yelling at each other. She saw them in the hospital. She saw herself telling him now or never. She saw the look on his face when he saw her ring. She saw him ask, 'why?' She saw him just let her walk away, not a peep spoken from his mouth. Both scenarios were a jumbled mess in her head. And then came another one.

That very next morning. His truck was full. He made reservations. But it was too late.

And with the slam of the door, Lorelai's eyes flew open as she took in a quick, sharp breath.

And then she realized she was back in her bedroom. Not by the diner. Not standing across from Luke. Not reliving that horrible night, that terrible morning.

"He let me go. He didn't want me," she whispered. And then her eyes wondered down to her left hand and trailed curiously over her ring. "_He_ wants me," she said quietly while rubbing her thumb over the piece of jewelry. "This'll work. We'll be fine," she said firmly before closing her eyes again, willing away images of the past, of the fight at the hospital, of all the bad that's happened.

And though she had to fight to get there, finally, Lorelai made it to sleep, just as Chris was sliding up behind her, anchoring his arm over her hip.

_Next Day_

_Evening_

She couldn't help herself. She was worried about the girl. She wanted to know that everything turned out okay, and though she could have called, she didn't. There was too much time to chicken out, too much waiting, listening to the ringing on the other end before the person would pick up.

And a part of her, a smart part, wanted to see Luke.

So after a long day at the Inn, here Lorelai Gilmore stood, her feet planted on the curb in front of the diner as she tried to calm her frenzied nerves.

It wasn't fair, all those things he said last night, he was out of line. That's how Lorelai felt. He made it seem like she was the only one who did something wrong, but it wasn't just her. It was him too. She knew that. It was both of them.

Part of her wanted to go in there and yell at him for what he said while another part of her wanted to forget the whole thing, run away and never have to see him again. But she couldn't. She couldn't run away from him. Not like that, not so completely. She couldn't cut him out, make it all so final. She just couldn't.

"Just go. Just go in, ask about April, and leave," Lorelai instructed herself in a whisper, trying to coerce her body to move. But it was scared. It wanted to run too, her legs right there with her brain, the two urging her to turn around. She couldn't handle this.

And just as she was about to turn around and go home, the bells jingled and her head snapped to find Luke come out. And before she could stop it, the words left her mouth.

"Hey," she said.

Luke looked up while reaching to flip the 'open' sign to 'closed.' "Oh, hey," he said, his eyes widened just a bit

"I'm not here for round two or anything, I just wanted to make sure April was okay," she said while holding her hands up in surrender.

"Oh, uh, yeah she's fine," Luke said with a nod while burying his hands in his pocket.

"Good, good," Lorelai said with a nod. "Well, I'm glad."

Luke nodded in agreement.

And then silence fell, uncomfortable silence.

"Well, I should get home," Lorelai said, more than ready to leave the situation.

"Can I just, uh, talk to you for a minute," Luke said, his voice unsure while he gestured to the diner.

"Oh, well," Lorelai started while looking around.

It was late. Late for Stars Hollow, late for suburbia at eight p.m on a Monday night. No one was around.

Then she turned back to the diner to find the room empty. Which she expected. Luke was closing. Of course no one was there. And she panicked at the empty room. With no one around, Luke wouldn't hold back. If he had more fightin' words, he'd say 'em, loud and clear.

"I should really get home," she said with a wince.

"I just need to talk to you. It'll only take a minute," he promised, pressing the request.

Lorelai sighed. "Okay," she said reluctantly before following him into the room.

Luke followed her inside as his mind tried to orgainze an apology for what happened at the hospital.

_To be Continued.._

**Please review!!**


	3. Kiss and Run

**Author's Note- **

**As always, we want to thank everyone for the reviews!!! I'd get the individual responses out, but something's up with the reply link. Well, at least on my account, not sure if it is for anyone else, so I can't reply to everyone's wonderful comments. I'm sorry! But hopefully I can next time! Again, thank you so much! Heart you all! :D**

**Anyway, on with the update! Hope you all enjoy!**

**Till it Feels Like Cheating**

_Written by: Kaci (LGandLDforever) and Britt (Sistaz4eva)_

**Chapter Three: Kiss and Run**

"I should really get home," she said with a wince.

"I just need to talk to you. It'll only take a minute," he promised, pressing the request.

Lorelai sighed. "Okay," she said reluctantly before following him into the room.

Luke followed her inside as his mind tried to organize an apology for what happened at the hospital.

Lorelai walked in ahead of Luke, though she didn't reach to turn the lights on. She knew the bright bulbs would just illuminate the room, making everything stand out. She didn't want to see the little details. It was enough just being in the diner, and even looking at it from the outside brought back too many memories. It would be too overwhelming for her, seeing the room in its entirety, that she was sure of.

Seeing the table by the window where she managed to carve, _Lorelai loves Luke_, in a little heart, like she was a giddy teenager head over heels in love. And the second part was true. She was in love with Luke.

Seeing the spot on the floor where she zipped through the room one day, leaving scuffs marks in her trail.

Seeing the walls that she painted.

Seeing the order behind the counter, one of the few traces that were left behind from Luke's dad.

Seeing the menus, each of them carrying her name forever-that is, unless Luke found a way to scratch them out. But even if he did, she knew he never would. And he kept them around, despite the new menus, solely because she wanted him to. A part of her hoped that didn't change, even with their past.

Seeing _her _stool, where she enjoyed countless amounts of coffee and pie. He stood behind the counter listening to her antics, or comforting him in the best way he knew how. The Santa Burger suddenly popped in her head, making her cringe.

Seeing the counter, where after arriving back from a movie date, the two nearly stripped down and had sex right there and then, but managed to stumble upstairs in the nick of time, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake.

All of these things, along with dozens of others that even in the dark, knowing they were there, made it nearly impossible for her to be in that room, standing across from Luke- the man that every memory was tied to.

Luke sighed while reaching to adjust the cap on his head.

He was nervous; Lorelai could tell from experience, she could see it in his eyes. And she was too as she wrapped her arms around her middle and waited patiently for him to say something, anything.

Finally, a long moment later, he turned to look at her and said, "I'm sorry, you know, yesterday," he started, "I was outta line, Lorelai. It's none of my business. You're with him, its fine," he brushed off while rounding the counter.

Lorelai frowned. His tone was a mixture of sadness and anger, if that were possible. "I didn't mean for you to find out like that," she said honestly, her voice small.

Luke nodded while grabbing the rag to run it over the counter top. "It's fine," he dismissed.

Lorelai's face fell further. "No, it's not fine," she insisted. "I should have… I don't know, I should have found a way to tell you, to let you know so you weren't blindsided."

Luke shrugged. "Never thought I'd be in the same room with you again. Neither of us saw that coming."

Lorelai nodded. That was true.

And then silence fell.

Lorelai was lost in her thoughts, questions bubbling in her mind as Luke went on with cleaning the counter, the rag on the verge of burning a hole through the wood.

"Do you think I cheated on you?" she asked suddenly, her voice breaking through the quiet, her words stopping Luke's hand in a second.

"What?" he asked, really just stalling for time.

Lorelai took in a breath while moving two steps closer to the counter. "When you let me walk away, that was it. You didn't stop me. You let me go and in my mind, it was over. You didn't want me. What I did, it wasn't right, it wasn't fair, but I wasn't trying to cheat on you… maybe I was trying to hurt you, get back at you but I wasn't trying to cheat on you. I just- he wanted me. I needed to feel wanted," she said, her voice begging for him to understand her jumbled up feelings.

Luke's brows furrowed as he looked up to find her eyes. "You think I didn't want you?" he questioned, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"You didn't stop me!" she repeated.

"Damn it, Lorelai!" Luke cursed while throwing the rag across the room. He then swung around the counter, bracing his hands on his hips while almost glaring at her. "I was there, my truck was packed, I made reservations. I was there," he finished firmly.

Lorelai shook her head, a look of disappointment crossing her face. "It was too late, Luke," she said in just above a whisper.

"You made it too late!"

"You let me walk away!"

"And you slept with that jerk!" he exclaimed. "You let him touch you! It was enough that day after day, I knew he wanted you. I knew he had you once. I knew he slept with you years before, but then it happened again. And after you swore to me that you were done with him!" Luke shouted, his voice bouncing off the walls and right back at Lorelai.

The Gilmore shuddered at the words, but recovered quickly. "I'm not doing this again! I'm not fighting about this!" she shouted back with her arms tight around her middle.

"Fine!"

Their little screaming match ended with heaving chests', both adults trying to calm their nerves while not bothering to break the trap their gazes were under.

After a moment, Lorelai forced herself to look away and said, "I have to go," in a whisper.

Luke nodded. And before he could stop his mouth, the words came tumbling out. "I still love you," he said, his voice barely loud enough for himself to hear, let alone Lorelai.

Her hand stopped just before reaching the door knob, her face wincing, like the words caused her pain. And they did.

"I can't," she said while shaking her head, working to keep her eyes on the door.

"No," Luke refused while quickly moving to stop her from going. "If I could do it all over again, Lorelai, I would. And I would tell you every day. You wouldn't ever question me."

Lorelai clamped her eyes shut, trying to will away the salty tears that were forming.

"I would have married you, Lorelai," he continued, his tone his memorizing. "On June third, I would have married you," he said, his voice promising.

And then a sob escaped, one she couldn't' stop, even if she had seen it coming.

Lorelai turned to look at him, her eyes clouded with water. "Why are you doing this?" she asked desperately.

"I want to kill him, Lorelai. I want to go over there right now, and kill him. But I can't. It would hurt you," he said gruffly. "I hurt you enough… I want to take it all back, Lorelai."

And that was it. The push over the edge.

First one tear fell, and then another. And Lorelai didn't try to stop them.

Luke frowned while reaching a tentative hand out to cup her cheek, his thumb sweeping across her skin to wipe away the salty tears.

Lorelai closed her eyes at the contact. She couldn't help it. For years, it had been a reflex with him, with his touch.

She took in a shaky breath while resisting the urge to put her hand over his.

"I'm sorry, Luke," Lorelai whispered, her voice strangled as her eyes fluttered open. "I hurt you too. I'm sorry."

Luke brought his other hand to her left cheek as new tears began to fall. Her skin felt the same as he remembered. Warm, smooth, soft… inviting.

Luke closed his eyes while taking a deep breath. And he couldn't help but see it. All those times, his hands touching her… the memories were unbearable.

"Luke," Lorelai whispered, her voice begging for him to let go. He wasn't the only one who had taken a trip down memory lane. He wasn't the only one who saw bits and pieces of their past, of their glory days. And it was too much for her to handle.

Luke opened his eyes slowly, his hands still holding her face while his thumbs continued to travel across her damp cheeks.

Lorelai let out a long, quiet breath, her heart racing in her chest.

"I have to go," she said again, her voice low and her eyes avoiding his.

Luke nodded, but he didn't release her. Instead, his hands traveled down her cheeks to band around the sides of her neck. He put his thumbs over her heart, taking comfort in the feel of her pulse beneath the pads of his fingers.

"Luke, please, I have to,"

But her sentence was cut short.

Luke leaned forward, ignoring everything else. Ignoring the other man, the ring on her finger, the hurt, the mess that got them there and all that went wrong. Ignoring reality.

His lips touched hers and when they did, Lorelai took a sharp breath. Her eyes closed in an instant as her lips molded around his.

Luke's tongue dared to touch her mouth, seeking permission and though her brain was shouting 'no', her heart was screaming 'yes'.

Luke took the victory, sweeping his tongue through her mouth as he cupped her warm cheeks in his hands again.

Lorelai wrapped her arms around his middle, her hands creeping up under his shirt. She needed to touch him. She needed to feel him.

Luke groaned deep in his throat as he pressed his body against hers, letting her feel his growing arousal.

And then it was gone, just like that. The bubble burst. Reality came knocking with the ringing of the phone.

They pulled away quickly, both looking guilty as they stepped back from each other.

It took a second for Lorelai to realize what they had done, a moment for the panic to sink in.

"Lorelai," Luke started at her wide eyes.

She shook her head, turning to leave.

"Lorelai, no!" Luke yelled after her, but it was no use. She was running faster than he had ever seen.

_Jesus Christ, you've really done it now Danes._ Luke thought to himself, sighing in disbelief. "What the hell just happened?" he asked himself.

He probably had the greatest kiss of his existence just seconds ago. More so, than that first one, the day outside the dragonfly. More so than their first date. More so than anything. Maybe because it had been so long. Maybe because, unlike their first kiss, this time he had gone months with knowing what he was missing. So what was he supposed to do now?

It was time to be practical, he would keep his distance. He couldn't let this happen again. She was _married_, she was _taken_. He would try his best to stay away. It was the right thing to do. But wait just a second—she didn't pull away, she didn't try to stop him. Yes, he kissed her first, yes he initiated it, but she didn't let go. Wasn't that worse? He couldn't help but think now that maybe she wasn't happy with that jerk. Maybe she still wanted him.

That kiss, at least on his end, was everything that he was missing; it was everything that he wanted, and everything that he couldn't have. As much as it was wrong, it _felt _right. It was right.

Luke took in a breath, trying to shake it off as he went to answer the ringing phone, being able to catch it on the last one.

Meanwhile, Lorelai was driving home, slowly, trying desperately to wipe all evidence of sadness from her face. After struggling with her damn key in the damn lock—she didn't even know why she locked her car in the first place, it was Stars Hollow for God's sake—she got in the car and drove away. She had the routine down; she didn't even have to look straight ahead to know how to get back. The last place she wanted to be right now was home. But it was late, and Chris would worry.

"_Chris."_ She closed her eyes for a second, hoping to God this was all a dream.

But no, unfortunately it wasn't. She was not a cheater; she did not let things like this happen. She loved Chris.

"He kissed you," she said to herself. It wasn't wrong. She couldn't stop it from happening.

"But I didn't pull away."

Lorelai took in a breath and couldn't help but mutter the words "damn it," under her breath.

How the hell was she going to look in his eyes later and lie to him? This changed everything. But, she couldn't take it back.

Lorelai sighed, a small part of her wishing none of this ever happened. She didn't want to forget though, right? She couldn't just put this behind her. It was a big deal, it was wrong. But it was _Luke_. Her head was a mess right now, one big jumbled mess.

He did say he loved her. He did kiss her with unbelievable intensity. For those few seconds, her body had totally floated away.

"I was hurt. I didn't know what I was doing," she whispered mechanically. She would just have to stay away from Luke, and everything would be fine.

"Yeah, that's what I have to do." She nodded to herself while pulling in her driveway.

The brunette pulled down her visor, looking at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot, slightly puffy and she had tear stains all over her face. She looked horrible. Sad, Hurt, Confused. Horrible.

She closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath. She then pulled out her purse to put some makeup on her eyes to try hiding the puffiness, and wiping the tears from her cheeks. After she took a minute for the touchup, she studied herself again. She looked better, not good, but better.

_I'll just tell Chris it's been a long day, and that I'm tired. Then I'll go to bed, _she thought.

Lorelai walked up to the front door easily, having porch light on to guide her. She opened the door, not surprised to find it locked. Chris was sometimes overly paranoid. Thinking anyone was going to just break in the house and steal their valuables. Not saying she would be upset to see that plasma screen go. The whole house had changed. In more ways than one, it wasn't the Crap Shack anymore. It was just…a house. A house her and her _husband _lived in.

"My husband," she whispered to the quiet house.

The fridge was no longer overflowing with take-out. There was no kung- pow chicken containers, no pizza boxes, no tator-tots. She had her pop-tarts and coffee, but other than that, Christopher had taken over the kitchen. He wasn't a chef by any means, but he could work the stove without burning anything. He tried his best. And the oven was no longer a sock warmer; it was actually used for its rightful purpose. A few days ago, she walked in to find Chris pulling out banana muffins. GiGi's favorite.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice all the lights were off.

_He's asleep. _She let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding.

Lorelai just couldn't deal with him right now. She couldn't even think about looking at him. She probably would break down if she had to. Lorelai was a good fibber when necessary, but let's face it, she _had_ to be sometimes, especially when it came to her mother. When it came to Rory, maybe having to tell a white lie for her daughter's safety, especially when the girl was young. But, she could not stand there and lie to his face. Not about this. Not with the guilt bearing down on her shoulders. She was not strong enough to do that.

Lorelai pulled her coat off, trying her best to block out everything. She elected to stay on the couch tonight; she wouldn't let herself upstairs in bed. It was very possible she would wake Chris up, then they would have a quiet conversation, and he would wrap his arm around her. No. She couldn't do that. The couch was perfect tonight.

Meanwhile, back at the diner, Luke dragged himself up the stairs slowly, wanting to forget the day's events. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his bed, a nice deep sleep, so he would be well rested for the morning.

He opened the apartment door that still etched his father's name, turning the light on. He saw his bed. The same bed he and Lorelai slept in countless times, and not only slept in, but had sex in, whispering words of love to each other. He cringed at the thought, he couldn't help it. And her pillow no longer smelled like her perfume, the scent had faded a long time ago, and he admitted to himself that he missed it. It was the only thing he had left, besides his blue hat of course, it fit perfectly in the bottom of his dresser, and it was too painful for him to wear it anymore.

He sighed. He couldn't sleep in his bed, not tonight, not after their kiss flashed through his mind again. So he changed into sweats, and grabbed a pillow and blanket from the closet, ignoring the Jimmy Buffet shirt that stared at him.

Everything reminded him of her. He knew right then that there was nothing he could do to escape her. He could try his hardest, but it would never work.

Just blocks away, Lorelai tossed and turned, trying to make herself comfortable. It wasn't working. She took a breath. Laying her head down on the pillow she got from the closet. She closed her eyes, took another breath. All she could see was darkness. Then, she saw Luke's face and her eyes snapped open, not being able to stop the tears that were already forming. She closed her eyes again, and for a second she saw nothing. Then, her mind drifted back to earlier. The way he wiped her tears away, the way his touch overpowered her to an almost dreamy state. The way he kissed her, with such passion, hunger, and need. She opened her eyes again. It was no use; she wasn't gonna be able to sleep tonight.

Little did she know, Luke was having the same problem.

The man was turned on his side, facing the back of the couch. He couldn't get the reality of everything that happened earlier out of his head. He thought of Lorelai, how hurt she looked, how she left without letting him talk. He was angry, with himself, but mostly with the fact that he let her get away again.

It was going to be a long night, a very long night. But not just for him, for the girl across town, too. For the girl with the dangerous dark hair, bright blue eyes, and big, breathtaking smile. For the girl who stole his heart all those years ago. For the girl that slipped through his fingers… for the girl that got away.

_To be continued…_

Please **Review!**


	4. There's alota Toleratin' Goin' On

**Author's Note- **

_I'm sorry! This long wait was not intended but here's the new chapter; hope you all enjoy!_

_Big thanks to our loyal readers and reviewers! We'd be eternally grateful if you all kept the reviews comin'! They inspire us and keep us writing!!! :D _

**Till it Feels Like Cheating:**

_Written by: Kaci (LGandLDforever) and Brit (Sistaz4eva)_

**Chapter Four: There's alota Toleratin' Goin' On**

It had been about two weeks. Almost fourteen days had passed since the incident. At least that's what Lorelai was calling it—an incident. She also thought of it as a weak moment. A small margin of time when she lost her mind. That's all it was. She had been telling herself it was a mistake and it meant nothing. She tried to convince herself that Luke's lips on hers, his hands on her cheeks, his body up against hers—it was all nothing. She felt nothing. It meant nothing.

Nothing, nothing, nothing—she had been repeating those words pretty much since the second she left the diner. Almost two weeks of trying to brush everything aside and forget the kiss ever happened.

Lorelai blew out a breath while looking down at the welcome wagon she and Christopher had received just earlier that day. It was a pathetic excuse for a welcome wagon though; one that clearly stated the town was hesitant about the two of them. That they weren't so sure. Chris wasn't who they were expecting. It wasn't who they wanted. Everyone thought she was going to marry Luke. That was the plan. But the plan got changed at the last minute and the town was still trying to catch up. At least, that's what Lorelai had been telling herself. In time, they would get used to it. She would get used to it. Everything would work out, it had to.

"Hey," Chris interrupted her thoughts from the landing. "I'm leaving," he said while taking the stairs.

Lorelai looked up and though she frowned at the Joaquin phoenix—going-to-the-Oscars look the man had going on, she just didn't' have the energy to say anything. And so she didn't.

Lorelai's mind was just somewhere else these days. She had been phasing in and out for a while now, though even when their relationship started, her head wasn't ever fully in the game. Her mind just wasn't all there. Sometimes she couldn't help but think about that night, though in that same instant, she'd scold herself and quickly bring her attention back to the present. She'd then try and focus on Christopher and their relationship.

And so with that mind set, she made the man-date happen for Christopher and Jackson. She organized the meeting in hopes that if a leading man in Stars Hollow liked her husband, the rest of the town would follow. She hoped the town's support would erase the awkwardness. She wanted them to accept her and her husband. And she herself wanted to get to a comfortable place with him. She wanted to forget about what happened with Luke and move on.

Now if she could just do something about the burning guilt in the pit of her stomach, life would be just a tad bit better.

"Lor?"

The Gilmore shook her head, blinked up at him, and asked, "Yeah?"

With furrowed brows, the man said, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said quickly while plastering a smile to her face, the move having become a reflex.

Chris nodded. "I'm gonna go," he said while pointing to the door.

"Okay," Lorelai said with a nod. "Have fun."

The man spread a big smile while finishing the stairs and heading for the couch. He stopped to drop a kiss to his wife's forehead, whispering words of love against her skin and all Lorelai could do was hold her smile and return the sentiment, though she wasn't all too sure the words meant what they should. It certainly wasn't enough, that she did know.

But for Christopher it was, as his growing smile proved that the words meant everything to him. That they were perfectly fine and happy and the Welcome Wagon sitting on the floor beside the couch proved that the town loved them. They were fully behind them.

What Chris didn't know, though, was that the cleaning supplies and shoe tress weren't the ordinary contents of a Stars Hollow Welcome Wagon. What the man wasn't aware of was Claude and Michael Davis received handmade clothing and homemade baked goods, and the pizza guy whittled them bookends in the shape of Senegalese tigers. That was a real Welcome Wagon. That was a Welcome Wagon that said 'You're welcome here and we're glad you're married.'

What Lorelai and Chrstopher were given, it wasn't a _Welcome_ Wagon. It was a 'We're Tolerating you' Wagon. But Lorelai just didn't have the energy to say anything. And so as her clueless husband went off in his too fitted clothes to go play with Jackson, Lorelai looked at the pathetic wagon with a frown. The mix matched, random items looked like a mess. But she knew they weren't the only things that were messy. Her mind, her heart, and her feelings were one, big ,jumbled up mess right now. And they had been that way for not just almost two weeks, but from the moment she agreed to give it a go with Christopher. From the moment she jumped into the bed with him. From the moment it all went wrong.

Lorelai sighed the second Chris shut the door. She decided right then the only thing that would make her feel remotely better would be her liquid oxygen. Besides giving her a much needed jolt, coffee was always there, right by her side, when she needed the comfort.

Chris wanted to get one of those high-tech coffeemakers, the ones that start on their own, need no filters, have an inner clock and an aroma button. She said no, she would never get away of her precious mini appliance, it was the only thing in the kitchen that was hers.

But he persisted, saying they had even larger ones now. Ones that held up to twenty cups, this way she wouldn't have to make coffee as often. She admitted that that definitely sounded nice. But she wouldn't' cave, she had to keep her coffeemaker. She said that half the fun of coffee was hearing the small old thing beat the odds and come to life. He dropped the subject.

She threw in as many grounds as the precious appliance would allow, wanting it be extra strong. _Needing _it to be extra strong.

A few moments later, Lorelai stepped outside to the back porch, thinking some fresh air would do her some good. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh autumn breeze. The orangey color that covered the grass would be gone soon, replaced by her savior, replaced by the best time of year, replaced by snow.

She sensed it wouldn't be too much longer; whiteness would cover Stars Hollow very soon. And she hoped with it would come some sanity. Because she and her ex fiancé making out in his diner—no way would a sane person do that. That's what she told herself.

_Later that Night_

She tried. She tried so hard to fall asleep before he came home. Ever since that bittersweet kiss with Luke, Lorelai had been trying so hard to fall into unconscious before her husband would walk through the bedroom door. And that was just when their schedules didn't mesh and the two wouldn't go to bed together. Sometimes it was easier and he would arrive some time after she hit the pillow.

There were some nights, though, when she couldn't try. Some nights when they were both home, neither of them having to work late, Christopher not away on any business trips, when they went to sleep together. Those were the nights when she couldn't avoid him.

But today, today she was close. She was so close.

Her eyes flew open with the sound of the front door closing. Her face winced and her body curled further. She buried her head deeper into her pillow and squeezed her eyes shut and continued to try. But it was no use.

In just minutes she heard him hopping up in the stairs and seconds later he appeared in the doorway.

"No way you're already asleep," the tipsy man said while walking through the room, pulling off his shirt as he went. "You can sleep when you're dead, right?" he said. "That's what you always say."

Lorelai thought about keeping her eyes closed, faking sleep, but she didn't. Call it guilt, call it curiosity, call it both, because it was.

"Hey," her voice whispered as she rolled over onto her side to look at him.

"Hey!" he boosted with a loopy grin while falling down on the bed.

"How was it?"

"Great!" he said before leaning to kiss her lips, taking Lorelai by surprise.

"We're going out again next week," he said happily.

Lorelai smiled and said, "Good, I'm glad."

"Me too," Chris said, his grin growing bigger as he went to kiss her again.

Lorelai sighed, her eyes falling closed as his lips tangled with hers. She wound her arms around the man's neck, ignoring his beer covered breath while pulling him closer, pressing her lips against his, demanding a response from not his body, but her own. She tried to feel enough because the little, tiny sparkle of arousal, it just wasn't enough. It didn't compare. It didn't come close to—

And at the taboo thought, her body froze and she pulled away, her eyes flying open in an instant. She had pictured Luke. While she was kissing her husband, she saw her ex fiancé. She saw his body in front of hers, she saw the two of them kissing, she saw her arms around his neck and with the flashback came more guilt. More and more guilt, pilling higher and higher into a mountain she wouldn't be able to climb.

"No, don't stop," Chris said with a frown while moving further onto the bed, trying to get closer to her. "I want you," he said before pressing his lips to her neck and trailing kisses along her skin.

Lorelai closed her eyes again , trying to lose herself in the feeling, trying to give him what he wanted, but not five seconds and she saw Luke. She saw them. She saw her and Luke together.

"Let's make a baby," he whispered suddenly.

Lorelai's eyes snapped open and widened all in the same second. "What?" she asked while pulling back. "What are you talking about?

"First one turned out pretty good, let's make another one," he reasoned with a shrug before trying to kiss her again, but Lorelai pulled back, her face frowning.

"First one didn't turn out pretty good. First one came out and a lot of work went into getting her to pretty good," she said firmly.

"So we'll work hard again. Don't you want another one?"

"_We_?" she questioned. "Did you seriously just say _we_?" she asked without having time to think about what she was saying.

Chris frowned. "I helped," he said defensively.

Lorelai sighed. "I know you did, I'm sorry," she apologized, not in the mood for a fight. And he did help… it wasn't anything to write home about, it's not like he attended the caterpillar's funeral, or made coffee cakes, or made pounds of mashed potatoes when Rory had chicken pox…but he had a few moments of fatherhood. Few and far between, but they were there. If you looked hard enough, they were there.

"Don't you want another baby, Lor?" he asked, looking up at her with sad, puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah. I guess. I don't know. I think… I want… another… kid," she hesitantly.

"Good," he said and a smile appeared. "Then let's go for it."

Lorelai shook her head while putting her hands on his chest to stop him. "I don't want to go for it right now."

"Why not?"

"We just got married," she said as if it were obvious.

"So? You were gonna have one with him, weren't you? Isn't that why you were gonna buy that giant house? Were you gonna wait with him? Probably not, you don't like to wait," he said.

Lorelai frowned. "How'd you know about that?"

"Rory," he said with a shrug. "She told me about it when you were with him. She said it was nice. Good thing you didn't marry him, huh?" he said, the beer speaking for him. "Now we can buy it," he offered. "We can buy it, have a thousand kids, feed them, send them to Harvard and when they leave, have more," he offered with a big smirk.

"Wow, that's a lot of kids."

"As many as you want," he said with a nod before trying to advance on her, but Lorelai moved further back on the mattress.

"Chris, honey, seriously, not now," she said with a shake of her head.

"I'm not gettin' any younger Lor, so you should get the gettin' while the gettin's still good," he said with a grin while moving closer to her.

"Chris, I mean it, not now," she said, her voice firm.

"So what, you'll have a kid with him, but not me?" he demanded.

Lorelai blinked, confused as to where that came from. "I didn't say never, I just said not right now."

"And that means never," he argued. "Why won't you have another kid with me? I got you pregnant once, I could do it again. How do you even know he could knock you up?" he challenged while pointing out the window. "What if he's shooting blanks, Lor? You're lucky you didn't marry him. I made two, he didn't' even make one," he gloated.

"He has a daughter," Lorelai defended the man.

"Yeah, that he just met. I've known Rory since she was a baby. I was at the hospital when she was born; he wasn't," Chris said, jealousy over her ex coming through as he pointed to the window again.

Lorelai shook her head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

"What's wrong with me is you won't have a damn kid with me," he said before pushing off the bed and stomping out of the room like an angry two-year-old that got his favorite toy taken away.

Lorelai sighed while falling down on the bed. If only she had fallen asleep before he got home. If only.

_Next Morning_

It was all the town could talk about. The rumble that went down in the square. The fight between Lorelai's husband and her ex. Patty saw the whole thing while she was closing up her studio for the night. Chris was walking down the street with a beer in his hand and Luke was outside the diner throwing some trash away. Out of nowhere, Chris called Luke's name, started shouting things and the fighting started. They were tossing punches, throwing each other around the square and when Patty finally managed to catch up to the situation, she called the cops to break up the fight.

And so now, with it being the main stream gossip, front page news on the Stars Hollow Gazette, Lorelai was really regretting even walking out of her house that morning. But at least though, the Knit-a-thon was set to start in a half hour. She hoped the event would distract people.

"You shoulda seen Luke; he punched him right in the gut!" Babette boosted, sitting on a fold out chair in the square next to Mrs. Cassini, relaying the story that she heard from the witness herself.

Lorelai sighed, pulling Chris away to set up their spot.

"I'm sorry, Lor," Chris apologized again.

When Lorelai woke up in the morning, she found him asleep on the couch and after the throwing up had subsided and they ventured outside, Chris was hit with the memories of the night before after hearing everyone talking about it. Of course he apologized to his wife, for not only that, but anything else he may have done. The conversation they had the night before in bed was a little fuzzy, but still, he said he was sorry."

"It's okay," Lorelai said, just wanting to forget the whole thing while hopping that Chris would forget this baby thing.

Still though, Chris kept apologizing. Over and over again, he said sorry, and over and over again, Lorelai assured him it was okay. But it wasn't. The drunken nonsense that came out of this mouth, the beer buzzed swings that were aimed at Luke—it wasn't okay. But forget and move on, that's what she wanted.

The Knit-a-thon started up soon after Lorelai and Chris found their seats and that seemed to quite everyone down. And it was as if they just noticed that Lorelai and Chris were present because they switched gears, moving on to new gossip.

Just when Lorelai thought the day was looking up, her husband brought the event to a crashing halt. It seemed his heart was in the right place, but offering the big chunk of money that he did to fix the bridge, there was no reason to go on with the knit-a-thon. And so it ended with sad murmurs and disappointed frowns as the town packed up to head back to their everyday lives.

"Why should I feel bad that I donated seven thousand dollars to help save the bridge?"

"You shouldn't." Lorelai said with a shake of her head.

"I don't. I thought the point was to save the bridge."

"Well, the point was to save it with knitting."

"That doesn't many any…"

"I know it doesn't make any sense," Lorelai said through a sigh. "But it's us. It's Stars Hollow. It's what we do. It's just how it is. It's hard for outsiders to understand."

"So I'm an outsider?" Chris challenged with raised brows.

Lorelai nodded. "For now," she said, hopeful. "But you don't have to try so hard to get people to like you.

At the comment, Chris laughed.

"What?" Lorelai asked.

"Of course I have to try. If I don't measure up to that guy, then I'm screwed."

Lorelai stopped walking, pulling her hand away from his as she looked at him with a frown. "Is this how it's always gonna be?" she asked.

"What?"

"You comparing yourself to Luke, to how we were," she clarified. "Cause I didn't sign on for that," she warned him. "I married you, not him," she said firmly.

"I know, I know," he said while holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "But this town, you know they want him, not me."

Lorelai nodded. "They'll get used to it."

"And if they don't?"

"They will," Lorelai said with conviction.

Chris nodded, motioning for them to continue working, but kept her arms folded over her chest as they continued on.

A moment later, Chris interrupted the silence. "So I've been looking at the market."

"The market?" Lorelai questioned.

"Yeah, you know, houses. I was thinking we could buy a bigger house, you know that way Rory and GiGi could have their own room, I mean I know they're sorta sharing now but this way they wouldn't have to and when we have a kid," he added. "Having trouble remembering everything from yesterday, but I remember something about kids and Harvard," he said through a laugh. "You want to wait, right?"

Lorelai nodded.

"That's okay," Chris said with a nod. "I can wait. But I think we should talk about it when we get home."

Lorelai stopped, her hand reaching for her phone. "You know what? I forgot, there's a meeting at the Inn tonight," she said while lifting her cell from her pocket to check the time. "I should go, it starts soon, but I'll meet you home later, okay?"

With furrowed brows Chris nodded and said, "Okay. I'll see ya later then. We'll talk?"

"Yeah, we'll talk," she confirmed, trying to hide how uncomfortable she was about the kids subject.

"Okay," Chris said before turning to leave.

Once the man turned the corner, Lorelai blew out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Her body turned and without trying, her eyes caught site of the diner.

The fight that happened yesterday, it was all anyone was talking about not even an hour ago. It was all over the papers and probably the subject of debate again, with the Knit-a-thon no more. She heard Luke got hit in the jaw pretty bad. Someone was saying how they spotted him holding an ice pack to his face every now and then at the diner. Chris got hurt too, though his injuries were a bit more severe. He had a black and blue on his stomach and a not so nice black eye.

Lorelai wanted to feel bad for her husband. She wanted to sympathy over his pain, but she couldn't. He went out drunk, started the whole thing and had it coming the minute he challenged Luke. Lorelai always suspected Luke could take Chris. Chris wasn't a sissy, but he wasn't as tough as Luke. He was a bit on the metro side and wouldn't get down and dirty like her ex would. Luke knew how to fend for himself and so of course, Chris got the short stick. He had the black eye to prove it.

But Luke… a lot happened between the past lovers, but he didn't' deserve that. He didn't deserve that punch in the face.

Lorelai looked back, wanting to make sure Chris was gone and after not finding him, she turned, setting her legs walking towards the diner. She knew it was dangerous, going there, but she had to apologize for Chris's actions. She needed to make sure he was okay. She wanted—no, scratch that, she needed to see him.

_To be continued…_

**Please Review!!! Thank you!!!**

**And yes, those of you who are familiar with the Guess-that-Cliffy game are more than welcome to take a crack at guessing what's going to happen next. And for those who aren't, it's pretty self explanatory, I think. Take a guess at the cliffy and if you're right, you get a cookie, :D.**


	5. Now That Felt Like Cheating

**WARNING!! Some M-ish stuff, so beware. **

**I know its been forever, so I won't answer everyone's reviews like always because its been so long, you all probably forgot what you wrote, lol, which is my fault. But I will say thank you to everyone who did leave comments; Brit and I love LOVE reviews, so yeah, keep em coming, :D. And chapter five, here we go. **

**Enjoy. **

_Written by: Kaci (LgandLDforever) and Brit (Sistaz4eva)_

**Till it Feels Like Cheating**

**Chapter Five: Now That Felt Like Cheating**

She went there to apologize. She went to say sorry for her husband's actions. She went there to make sure he was okay. She went there to see him. Something in her, it just needed to see his face. She knew it was risky, but after two weeks, she finally cracked. She threw caution to the wind, ignored the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, and went to see him. She had to.

See, there was a sign of danger, right from the start, but she didn't pay it any attention. At first, she didn't see it as a bad thing, though it wasn't, but that depended on who you asked. Not everyone invovled would be thrilled with the outcome. And with reality still being, well, reality, it wasn't the best move to make. There was a warning Lorelai should have taken as a cue to leave, but she didn't. She thought the situation would make things quick and simple. Well, she was wrong.

The diner was packed. It was a full house. Every table, every stool was taken. See, at first, she thought this was good. The place being so crowded, nothing would happen. She would find Luke, say sorry while he was busy refilling coffee mugs and taking orders, then leave. No harm, no foul. Sounds good in theory, right? Well, theory doesn't always pan out to reality. If there was anything Lorelai learned that day, it was that.

The problem was that Lorelai didn't count on Luke not being able to hear her over the noise. People in Stars Hollow were always so damn chatty and of course, the newest gossip was spreading like wild fire. Everyone was talking about Christopher and his very, very generous donation. They were talking about Lorelai's new husband and the fat check he signed that ended the knit-a-thon. And despite the big dollar amount, no one was happy. They wanted to knit, knit for hours and hours to save the bridge, not have someone come along and be the hero. Though on paper they were knitting for a cause, underneath it all, they were knitting just to knit, and Christopher went and ruined all that. It was a bad move on his part; everyone seemed to be pretty concensus-y about that.

And so anyway, Luke could barely hear the word 'hey' leave her lips. He told her to hold on a sec, ran back to the kitchen, then came out a minute later and waved her over before disappearing behind the curtain. Lorelai panicked. Obviously, she was supposed to follow him. But that was the problem. Following him would lead her to his apartment. They would be together, alone, in his small, small apartment. There may as well have been a big flashing sign in neon lights that read 'DANGER WILL ROBINSON! TURN AROUND! GO BACK! NOW! The scene alone was that predictable. But she wasn't stupid; she knew she shouldn't go, but she did. She knew it wasn't a good idea, being face to face with him, alone and so close to a bed; it was in fact the opposite, a very bad idea. That little feeling in the pit of her stomach was growing bigger and bigger with every passing second, but regardless, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then followed his lead. There was no going back now. And even if she could, a part of her didn't want to.

He was shocked to see her, of course. He knew that night made everything worse and he never imagined she'd even walk through his diner again, let alone talk to him. But just as the room filled to capacity, everyone babbling and complaining about something that happened during the knit-a-thon, she came. He heard the familiar sound of the bells jingling while taking a customer's order, but at first, he didn't look up or anything. People were coming in left and right, if he looked up everytime someone did he'd get whip lash. But then he heard her voice. It was a whisper, the words just barely nudging through the rambling nonsense of the crowd, but his ears managed to pick up the familiar sound. And so he looked up and there she was.

After letting Casear know he was taking five, Luke quickly darted upstairs, giving Lorelai a wave to follow him. He thought, for a minute, about ducking into the storage room and finding out what she wanted there, but he could tell from the look on her face that she wasn't okay. He knew, right off the bat, from the tone of her voice, from the look in her eyes, that something was wrong. She needed to talk, and he guessed about the kiss that happened two weeks ago. He was just calling it a kiss. Or maybe, he thought, it was about yesterday, he and Chris duking it out. Whatever it was, she looked like she needed to talk, _really_ talk and so he figured upstairs would be better. Away from the noise, away from the people, away from interruption.

He made it there first and the second he walked through his empty place, he started to freak out. He found himself pacing, wondering what she was doing there, what she was going to say, what would happen. Worrying that she was mad, or worse, upset. She looked upset, but he hoped the feelings weren't aimed at him, though either way, he didn't like that she potientally was. And then he started thinking that maybe the storage room would have been better. Or even outside. His apartment was dangerous. It seemed that both were on the same wave length about that.

Before Luke could make any kind of move though, or even fully consider doing so, he heard her coming up the stairs. It was too late. And that set a whole new wave of panic and fear.

"Hey," she said again, this time her voice just a notch louder than before.

Luke spun away from the window, dropping his hands from his hips while turning to face her. "Oh, hey," he sputtered, feeling anxious.

Lorelai looked down while tucking her hair behind her ear. It was a nervous habbit. "This will only take a minute, then I'll let you get back," she started while keeping her gaze on the floor. "I just came here to apologize for what happened with Christopher," she said. "He was drunk and didn't know what he was doing and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Luke nodded, all the while hating that she sounded so buisness like. Her tone was serious and right to the point. It was very un-Lorelai like and that scared Luke. The Lorelai he knew joked about things, she would try and find the humor in a serious situation, in any situation. She wore a smile more than half the time, lighting up a room with her big grin. And even when something was wrong, she flashed those pearly whites, though he always could tell the fake smiles from the real ones. The real ones reached her eyes, they made her blue orbs sparkle. The fake ones barely reached her cheeks. The Lorelai he knew would look him in the eye when she talked. The Lorelai he knew would have shouted over the crowed, demanding coffee right there and then, even if she didn't really want any. That was the Lorelai he knew. He hated to think she changed. He hoped she didn't.

Although he then realized that maybe she was just uncomfortable. Maybe she was scared, nervous... he knew he was.

After a moment of mental debate, he snapped from this thoughts, and focused back on her words. "I'm fine," he waved off.

Lorelai nodded while crossing her arms over her chest. "Good," she said while daring to peak up at him. "That's good."

"What about him?" Luke asked, though he could care less, he just needed an excuse for her to stay longer. "Heard he got a black eye," he said, trying to hide his smirk .

Lorelai rolled her eyes. He wasn't too successful with hiding his gloating grin. "He was drunk," she defended her husband.

Luke nodded. "Heard he got a bruise on his stomach. Wonder how Babette found out about that one," he said thoughtfully.

Lorelai sighed. "Yeah, you did real good beating him to a pulp, thanks," she said sarcastically. "And now that I see you're fine, I'm gonna go," she said while turning for the door.

"No, Lorelai, wait."

The Gilmore stopped, her arms hugged around her belly as she asked, "What?" without looking over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I would've left the guy alone, but he started with me. He was shooting his mouth off and I just wanted to shut him up. I'm sorry if I, you know, hurt him or anything," he apolgozied uncomfortabley. He really wasn't all that sorry. To him, the idiot had it coming.

Lorelai nodded while keeping her back to him.

And then silence fell. Luke stood in his kitchen, waiting impatiently for Lorelai to say something, do something, but she just stood there. He could hear the wheels turning in her head while he stood on pins and needles, waiting for her to make a move.

"We had a fight," she said a moment later, her quiet words cutting through the silence. "About you," she verified, "Thats why he was drunk," she added.

"Me?" Luke asked, surprised. But then he thought- "You told him that we,"

"No," Lorelai stopped him while turning around. "No, I didn't tell him," she said, keeping her eyes on the floor as she walked a few steps closer.

"Oh," Luke said, releived and disappointed at the same time.

"He wants to have a baby."

Luke's eyes widened. "You, uh, you-you and him -you're gonna have a- you-" he stuttered while pointing to her belly.

Lorelai shook her head. "No. That's what we were fighting about. He wants to have a bunch of kids, send em to Harvard, then start all over with a new batch... although I think that was more the booze talking than anything, but he wants a baby," she finished through a sigh.

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat before asking, "And you?"

Lorelai shrugged. "I don't know," she said honestly. "But I don't know why I don't know, I just... well, I never thought you would, but you did and then I did and I got excited about it and then... well, you know what happened then," she finished quietly while avoiding his gaze. "I just- I still don't know if - I don't know if things-what if it doesn't-nevermind." Lorelai took a deep breath, ending her jumbled up thoughts abruptly while closing her eyes.

"You don't want a baby with him," Luke realized.

Lorelai plopped down on a chair while her forehead fell to her palm. "No," she confessed. "But he wants one. He thinks Rory just came out perfect, but she didn't. It was hard; raising a kid is hard, and I know he has a GiGi, but he also has money and maids and nannies- I mean, at least he did. We don't have that at my place-well, the nanny, yes, she does a lot with GiGi because Chris works a lot and everything, but I've been trying to convince him to lose the nanny and be with her more, but he's turning into one of them. I guess he already has; the minute his grandfather died and left him all that money, he really changed. But, I don't know, I don't really know adult Chris, but he was never like this. I hate that life, and he did too, but now he's one of them. And he thinks I'll just pop out a bunch of kids, he'll shell out the money for toys and food and nannies and private preschools and thats how you raise a kid. But that isn't how you do it. That's not how it _should_ be done. That's not how I raised Rory. I won't raise a kid like that; I won't have someone else do my job for me," she ranted.

Luke pulled out a chair next to her, and sat down while being careful to keep space between them. "Lorelai," he said, his voice quiet.

She looked up from the table, her eyes reflecting how tired she was. She looked more emotionally tired than anything.

"Don't let him talk you into doing this," he begged. "Just- if you don't want this, then don't."

Lorelai looked up, surprised that his tone was so pleading. "Why does it matter to you, Luke?" she asked quietly, though she wasn't sure why she even asked. Two weeks ago, he made it more than clear, his feelings for her.

"You know why."

Yeah, she did.

"Do you love him?" Luke asked suddenly.

"Apparently. I say it all the time."

That confused Luke as he looked at her with furrowed brows. "You don't know?" he asked carefully.

She shook her head, tears boiling in her eyes. "I'm so confused, Luke."

The man sighed while looking at his once beautiful girl, though of course she was still beautiful, she wasn't his anymore. He couldn't wrap his arms around her, kiss her, tell her everythings gonna be okay, then give her the biggest piece of pie she could eat, knowing that it always helped. She wasn't his girl to comfort anymore. Though he wanted to. So badly, he wanted to.

"I'm sorry, Lorelai." He didn't know what else to say.

The Gilmore nodded while wiping her eyes, making sure the tears stayed in place.

"Can I... I need to ask you something," he started nervously.

"Yeah?" she asked while wiping away any stray tears that may have fallen.

Luke moved in his seat, leaning forward while resting his arms on his legs. "Would you have come with me? If what happened with him didn't happen, would've come with me?" he asked.

It took a second for Lorelai to realize what he was talking about, but when she did, flashbacks of that awful morning flew through her mind.

"_It's over."_

"_No, you can't say that. You can't just say that it's over. It's not over. You can't just decide that it's over. I'm in this, too. You know I'm not gonna let it be over. You said, "be ready now or never." I'm ready now."_

"_Luke. _

"_Let's go. Let's do this. Let's get married right now. Let's go."_

"_I slept with Christopher."_

The car door slammed and her body shuddered, just like it did that morning.

"Lorelai?" he asked with furrowed brows.

'It's over' The words kept replaying in her mind. It's over, It's over, It's over... it had to be over. What she did, well that was sticking the fork in it, the icing on the cake. Luke may have gotten the ball rolling, he started it all, but she finished it. And with a bang.

"Lorelai, I need to know," he pushed.

The Gilmore looked back at him, blinking away her thoughts. "Yes," she said. "I think I would have."

Luke sighed while leaning back agianst the chair.

"All I needed you to do was jump, Luke. I needed you to show me you could jump," she said, her voice so quiet and careful. "I needed you to fight for me," she added.

He knew it was more than just that night. He knew she meant all those weeks, months, that he put her on the back burner and focused on April. He knew what he did was wrong. He knew he shouldn't have said yes to postponing the wedding. He knew he shouldn't have pushed her away. He knew, now, that it was ridiculous to think April would like her better. Sure, the teen would love Lorelai, but isnt that what people hoped for? That their kid likes the woman they're marrying? And April did like her. He saw it at the birthday party. They got along, they talked, they laughed, they had fun. All he had to do was let her in, but he was scared. He wanted to make up for lost time with his daughter. With all those years gone by that he wasn't aware she was even alive, he wanted to fill in the gaps. And with his one track mind sometimes, he lost his girl in the process.

Luke knew Lorelai had every right to be angry with him, he understood that. But he was angry too. Yeah, he was being a jerk, but she slept with him. He didn't believe she went there for that, but she ran to him and ended up in bed with the guy. He was pissed as hell when he found out, and was still mad now. He was mad at himself, mad at Lorelai, mad at the idiot she married. He was just really mad. He was mad enough to fight, and proved that last night. He and Chris threw some punches, but he seemed to be the one who came out ontop, at least according to the town, according to the guy's black eye, according to the apology Lorelai came to give him, according to the good feeling he had last night after walking away from the situation with barely a scratch. He won the battle... but what about the war, Luke realized. Could he win the war? _Was _there a war? He could start one. It didn't have to be too late, he thought. And in his mind, it wasn't. It wasn't too late. After all, the signs were there. She didn't want to have a baby with the guy, she wasn't sure she even loved Chris, and everything with the two of them happened so fast, it was just a rebound thing... well, maybe a little more than that, but she still had feelings for him. Luke could tell from the kiss, it was still there. It wasn't too late. She came to see him- it wasn't too late, he knew it had to be true. And quickly, Luke decided, he would start a war. And should he go down for good, this time, he would go down swinging.

"I should go," Lorelai said, her voice breaking his thoughts.

Luke looked up and frowned as she started for the door. "Lorelai, wait," he called while hurrying around the table. He reached out to grab her arm to stop her and the Gilmore looked at him, confused. "Why don't you want a baby with him?" he asked.

Lorelai looked at Luke for a second, wondering if he was listening to her before. "I told you, I don't-"

Luke shook his head, interrupting her. "No, you do know. Tell me why," he urged. "And don't say its because you're scared; I know you're scared, but that's not really why," he said as a matter-of-factly. "Tell me why, Lorelai."

She tried to pull her arm back, needing to go, but he held tighter.

"You don't think your marriage'll last. You don't think this is permanent. You don't want to have another baby with him because you don't want to go through all of that again. You don't want to be a single mom. You know it won't last," he explained, his voice soft.

"Luke, stop," she demanded, turning her head away from him as she tried to avoid his words.

"It's not about the money and the nannies and the private preschools. You wouldn't let that happen, you wouldn't let someone else raise your kid, that isn't what this is about. You don't love him. You don't really want to be with him," Luke accused gently.

Lorelai shook her head, determined not to meet his eyes. "Please, Luke, stop," she begged, this time her voice weak as new tears began to brew in her eyes. He could always read her like an open book. He always knew her so damn well. He could always get to her.

"Maybe you say it all the time, but are you really saying it to him? Do you love him, Lorelai? And don't say you're confused; yes or no, do you love him?" he asked again.

"Yes," she said quickly and firmly while clamping her eyes shut, trying to keep the salty water from leaking over the edge.

"Then why won't you have a baby with him?" Luke asked, and though he hated to see her get upset like she was, he was determined to get to the bottom of things. He needed to know for sure if he still had a fighting chance.

"Stop interrogating me like I'm on trial or something; let me go," she demanded , still refusing to look at him, refusing to let him see her watery eyes.

"Does he look at you like you're the world, Lorelai? Does he look at you like you're the only woman in the world? Like I look at you?"

"Luke," she said, choking on a sob while trying to reach her free hand to her cheek, but Luke wrapped his fingers around hers, stopping the move.

"Maybe he says he loves you, and maybe he does, but not like I do. He doesn't love you like I do," Luke insisted ."You weren't you when you said yes to him; I hurt you and you were weak and upset... I made this happen. It's supposed to be you and me, Lorelai. You're not supposed to be wearing his ring. I know you don't really want to, I know you still have feelings for me, _I know it_," he insisted firmly.

"Damn it, Luke," she cursed as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"You think about it, don't you? About what happened down there," he said while pointing to the door. "I know you think about the kiss; I can't stop thinking about it. I know you, I know you walk around, pretending everything is okay, trying to smile and telling everyone you're fine, but you're not fine," he said, his voice soft, yet firm, and his heart breaking at the tears that fell from her eyes. "You're not fine," he said sadly. "You're mad at me, you hate me right now, but you love me. You hate that you still do, but you do. You love me."

And finally she broke. The tears fell fast and hard as her knees buckled and her body fell to the floor.

"Go away," she cried as Luke tried to wrap his arms around her waist. "I hate you," she muttered while trying to calm down, trying to stop the tears.

"I know," Luke said with a small smile. "I hate me too."

"I have to go," she mumbled through her cries while trying to sit up, trying to get herself together.

"No, no, I'm not letting you go, not like this," he said, frowning at her red, watery eyes, the tears falling down her cheeks. "Does he know when you're not okay, Lorelai? Does he know when everything is wrong... I do," he said while reaching a tentative hand to brush her hair away from her face.

Lorelai shook her head. "You didn't see it then," she said, barely above a whisper. "You didn't know it then," she protested as more tears fell. "Why did you let me go?" she asked, her voice begging for an answer.

"I don't know," he said honestly, about ready to cry himself. "I'm sorry, Lorelai. You have no idea how sorry I am."

"You were barely kissing me, barely looking at me..." she trailed, her head shaking at the past as she wiped fresh tears from her cheeks. "You took her damn bag."

His frown deepened as he looked at her with worried, sad eyes. "I didn't think it bothered you," he said, his voice small.

Lorelai shook her head while looking down at the floor. "You were supposed to know," she said quietly. "You always knew."

"Lorelai, I—"

"I slept with Christopher," she snapped suddenly while looking back at him with red puffy eyes and tear stains on her cheeks. "Don't make this just about you; _I_ did it too!" she pointed out angrily.

Luke shook his head. "And I'm mad enough, I punched a hole in the wall. I'm mad enough, I drove over there and punched that jerk square in the face, but it doesn't matter... I love you, Lorelai."

At the words, she cried another sob. "Stop saying that," she said while shaking her head. "Please, just... stop saying that."

"No," Luke whispered while looking down at the hand in her lap. He wrapped his finger around her wedding ring and pulled it free, all the while Lorelai not making a move. She didn't say a word, not a peep. But her eyes stayed on his hand, trying to see through the haze of tears as he took her ring and placed it on the shelf above her head. He then lifted her hand, holding it gently in his palm while looking at the light, barely-there indentation left by the ring. His ring. His stupid ring. "That doesn't belong here," he said while stroking her knuckles, sweeping his thumb across her now empty finger.

"Please, Luke," she begged, her voice weak while her heart hammered away in her chest. "You have to stop," she said urgently, though she made no move to try and take her hand back.

"I love you," he repeated before lowering his lips to her hand, pressing a kiss to her finger, claiming the terroritory that was once his, the place where _his_ ring once sat.

She took a shaky breath as her eyes fluttered closed. "Luke," she muttered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

The man looked up and his brows furrowed when his gaze found her lips. He wanted to kiss her. He needed to kiss her. "It's okay," he whispered, his breath just inches from her mouth before he dared to brush his lips over hers. His heart was going fast, wildy beating agianst his chest as he trailed kisses over her lips and along her cheek, right across her jaw line.

A sharp breath filled her lungs at the contact, at the feel of his lips on hers. "Luke.. don't..."

He heard the words, but the voice behind them wasn't demanding. And so he wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. If he could just show her, he thought, if he could show her how much he still loved her, maybe he could win the war.

"So much, Lorelai," he murmurred agianst her neck, his lips roaming over her sensitive skin. He let go of her hands, instead wrapping his fingers around her waist, holding her tight as he worked his way down her neck and over her collar bone, leaving featherlight kisses in his trial.

"This can't be happening," she said in disbeleif, her head back as she fought the urge to wrap her arms around his back, to pull him closer.

"I had a dream about you," he whispered between kisses, his tone mesmerizing.

"Remember when I kissed you, at the Dragonfly?" he asked before pressing his lips to her heated skin, working his way back up her neck.

"So many times," she said while tilting her head back to allow him better access.

Luke smiled. "I thought you were still with that guy," he said while his hands traveled higher up her waist, this thumb brushing over her covered breasts. "But you weren't. We yelled about it, then I kissed you... and you kissed me back," he said, a part of him still surprised that she did. "I took you out, then we came back here and I finally got to show you. Do you remember, Lorelai?" he said while looking up to find her eyes.

Lorelai nodded, mixed emotions running through her body at the site of his dark, hungry eyes.

"I had a dream about that night," Luke said before leaning to kiss her. He pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth before tugging at her bottom lip, needing more. Her eyes fell closed in an instant, her body arching towards him and with the move, she quickly became a part of the kiss, moaning as Luke dared to run his tongue over her lip, seeking permission. She granted him easily, opening her mouth and unlike everything going on around them, the fighting, the hurting, the bad feelings, no one fought for supremecy. Their tongues worked together, their lips molding around eachother's, working in a dance that they've performed hundreds of times. Nerves were on high alert, hormones running wild, feelings boiling to the surface and just when she felt the twinge in her belly, she felt something else pushing against her jeans, right over her covered sex, right over where she wished Luke could be.

He was straining agianst his pants, needing to be free, needing to be inside of her, needing to show her, but just like that, the moment was gone. She pushed him away, shaking her head as fresh tears pooled in her eyes.

"Luke, please," she begged while wrapping her arms around her belly. "I can't... don't-don't help me cheat," she said as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't want to be a cheater, I already did something that was so... I shouldn't have... I just-I have to go," she sputtered while trying to stand up, but Luke stoped her.

"No, no, Lorelai, it's okay, don't go," he said while getting to his feet and reaching to cup her cheeks, using his thumb to wipe the tears away. "I won't help you cheat," he promised, "but stay. Stay and rest, you need to rest," he said, hating the dull look in her eyes. She always had such a spark.

Lorelai took a deep breath while unclenching her arms from around her stomach. "Can you stay with me?" she asked, her voice small. "We can just lay down, just- I need you to hold me."

Luke nodded, a small smile tugging his lips. "I can do that," he said with a nod.

They got comfortable in bed, their bodies lying above the covers as Lorelai lay up agianst him, Luke's arm over her hip as he held her close. Lorelai sighed while closing her eyes, trying to calm herself enough to relax, trying to ignore what she felt behind her, trying to pretend Luke's hand nudging up under her shirt, his palm spread over her belly, that it didn't effect her, trying to... well, just trying. And wishing. Wishing that none of this happened. Wishing that he didnt' let her go. Wishing that she didn't run to Christopher. Wishing that she didn't marry him in France. Wishing that everything went right. Wishing that she didn't have feelings for Luke anymore. Everything would be so much easier if Christopher was the man she wanted, that she was sure of.

"Luke," she whispered while peeping her eyes open.

"Yeah?" he asked, his tone matching hers.

"I love you too," she finally said, "but it hurts."

"I know," he said sadly while brushing his thumb back and forth across her skin. "Everyday, Lorelai."

"I'm sorry," she mananged.

"Shh, it's okay," he assured her before pressing a gentle kiss to her neck. "I'm here, Lorelai, I'll always be here," he promised.

Lorelai sighed while putting her hand over Luke's, twining her fingers between his while taking a deep breath, then closing her eyes.

He was right, she did need rest. She was tired, so tired.

_It was bright, but somehow dark at the same time. Lorelai looked up at Luke._

"_Lorelai, this thing we're doing here, me, you." He motioned between them. "I want you to know I'm in. I am all in." _

_Lorelai looked down, trying to hide her shy smile. "Me too, Luke." _

_He smiled back, and he leaned in to kiss her. But wait, something didn't feel normal, she didn't feel safe. The last time he sealed his lips over hers, she was gone...lost in the kiss, lost in the moment, and all was right with the world._

_It wasn't like that this time, it was...weird. Lorelai stopped, not liking the feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't looking at Luke anymore. She wasn't seeing the man that stole her heart, the man that was hers, that was always hers, the man that would do anything for her, the man that in a sense, was home. _

_Now she was looking at Christopher. Old memories flashed through her mind, late night parties, tequila, broken condoms. They had history. "You betrayed me." Surprisingly, he didn't sound angry, he sounded...hurt. _

Lorelai's eyes snapped open. It took a moment before she realized where she was. She then sat up, and when she did, she saw a sleeping figure beside her. A familiar figure. Then it all came rushing back. All the things he said, all the things he _meant_. All the things he did, all the things _she _did.

"Oh my god," she whispered to the quite apartment, the words getting lost somewhere in the air. She bolted up, sliding herself out of the bed, trying her hardest to not disturb a sleeping Luke.

Her efforts failed. "Lorelai? Where you going?" Luke began, his voice thick with sleep.

"Luke, I need to go, I have to get home. It's-" She looked at the clock. "Oh my god. It's two am!"

Luke was fully awake now, "Lorelai, don't go...please, don't go," he begged, now standing by her side.

"Luke, please, don't. I have to go," she persisted. "It's late, it's bad enough...don't make it harder," she reasoned.

He sighed. "Lorelai-"

"I'm going to fix this," she promised.

He perked up at the words, and Lorelai noticed. But he just nodded, unable to think of anything to say. He knew what he should say..._Lorelai, you don't have to do this alone, you'll never be alone, not anymore. I'm here and I want to show you that I always will be, because you are the light of my life, you are _my _life. Let's go to him together, and tell him together, let's make everything right again. Because you are important, you are the most important thing in this world, and if I could I would move the earth for you. _But he couldn't. Instead he just said, "Okay."

Lorelai took a deep breath. She found his eyes and their gazes stayed locked for a second. But just a second. No more. She left and it took all the will power she had not to turn back, not to kiss him, not to tell him she loved him and that things were going to be okay now. And it took everything Luke had not to stop her.

_Crap Shack _

Lorelai really didn't want to do this. She didn't want to walk through the house and find Chris waiting up for her, or worse, worried sick. She was scared of finding just that. Her phone died hours ago; he probably called her countless times. She didn't want to walk in there, and have to lie to his face.

_But I don't have to lie, _her mind told her. But could she really? Could she really tell him now. _"Hey Chris, I know it's two in the morning, but I really have to tell you something...I'm still in love with Luke, and I think I always will be._" No, that wasn't right.

She took a big gulp of air and walked through the empty living room- thankfully it was empty. And it was dark. Maybe he wasn't up after all, maybe he fell asleep, she thought. All she would have to do is say she came in a while ago and fell asleep with a movie on the couch. It could work. Now she just had to make sure he was asleep.

She walked upstairs, taking her time, careful not to touch the sqeaky steps. When she reached to the bedroom, sure enough, there Chris was, dead to the world. The last thing she wanted was to sleep next to him, not after what she did with Luke.

Lorelai threw her shoes off, intending to go back downstairs to sleep on the couch, but he stirred, and his eyes were now wide open.

"Hey," he seemed surprised. "You're home; I thought you were staying with Sookie."

_Sookie? _"Uh, yeah...I was going to," she lied quickly, "but I woke up after sleeping on their couch and realized that I wanted to sleep in in the morning. You know, I don't have work tomorrow and with their kids, they'll probably be up early, running around, watching spongebob, hyped up on lucky charms," she babbled. Lorelai blew out a breath. "So yeah, here I am. Sorry I woke you."

"Oh." Chris said, beleiving her. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come to bed."

Lorelai plastered on a smile. "Just give me a second, have to change and brush my teeth."

He nodded as she walked into the bathroom.

_I'll tell him. _Lorelai thought, _Tomorrow. _

_**To be continued...**_

**Hope you enjoyed, and we'd love some reviews before you all go! Thank you!**


	6. One Door Opens to Another Door Closed

**Author's Note-**

_So first, Brit and I want to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. We love the wonderful comments and we especially want to thank those of you who have been reviewing from day one. It means a lot to us to hear what you think and know the story is liked. And so to wrap this up, its been a great ride, and now here it is, the last chapter. Enjoy!_

**Till it feels like cheating:**

_Written by: Kaci (LGandLDforever) and Britt (Sistaz4eva)_

**Chapter six:** **One Door Opens to Another Door Closed**

She woke up and he was gone. Long gone, in fact, judging by the cold pillow he left behind. A part of her was relieved when she turned over and saw the spot next to her empty, while at the same time wishing he was there so she could tell him it's over. It was a mistake. They just don't fit right. She jumped. She has feelings for another man. The list goes on.

After waking up and going through her morning routine- all the while, her body and mind numb-, Lorelai set out to take care of something. She was supposed to show up for a wedding party thing today, an appointment she was more than eager to bail on. She wasn't too thrilled about it from the start. And maybe that should have been a clue- that Lorelai was so agianst having a party, inviting her friends, celebrating her union. Maybe her resistance should have been a clue that she wasn't all in. She wanted to be though. But she just couldn't help that her feelings were aimed at another man.

Anyway, Lorelai didn't want to directly speak with her mother- that would be a mess- so instead she dialed the Gilmore mansion while praying the maid would answer. And apparently God was listening because a maid did indeed pick up and so Lorelai saved that problem for later by leaving a message with the woman, saying she couldn't attend the wedding planning and to please pass that on to her mother.

After hanging up as quickly as possible, Lorelai left her house, needing to be away from it. Then she turned her cell phone off, not wanting to deal with questioning phone calls that would most definatly come from her mother within a matter of time. Sudden cancellations weren't high on Emily's 'okay' list.

Lorelai didn't plan on seeing him. She didn't want to until everything was straightened out. She didn't wake up with the thought of going to the diner, but her legs just took her there. They had a mind of their own. It wasn't her fault. It was her legs, they were to blame. And her feet too, it was all their doing.

Luke didn't know what to do. Should he call her? Probably not. But he wanted to do something. He needed to do something. He needed to talk to her, to see her. He needed to know what was going on. He hated playing the waiting game, but he was stuck doing just that- that is, until she walked through the door.

Lorelai stopped herself just before going inside, realizing she was crazy. This was a bad idea. Going in there was a very bad, bad idea. She needed to talk to Chris. She needed to sort things out there. The situation needed to be fixed before she could move on. Before she could see Luke again. Being face to face with the man was dangerous, that she knew.

Regardless though, Lorelai pushed reality away, banishing the thought from her mind and put one foot in front of the other. But before she could reach the door, Liz came barreling around the corner with a car seat in her hand.

"Hi, Lorelai," she managed in passing before breezing through the diner.

Lorelai didn't have the chance to answer. By the time the words formed in her mind, Liz was long gone . A woman on a mission, that was clear. The Gilmore watched with furrowed brows as Liz set the seat down on the counter and just seconds later, she and Luke seemed to be having an argument. The two went back and forth until apparently, Liz got her way with whatever it was she wanted.

"Hey, hey, long time no see," Liz cheered just after popping out from the diner.

Lorelai blinked her eyes away from Luke and turned to Liz while nodding in agreement. "Rumor is you had a visit from the stork," she said with a grin while pointing through the window.

Liz nodded enthusiastically with the biggest smile on her face. "I love her, but she's been a pain, you know? What am I saying, of course you know what that's like, you have a kid," she waved off. "Anyway, I thought I'd beg Luke to watch her for a while. Mama needs a break. "

"Mama was successful?"

"Yes she was," Liz said with a smirk. "And now mama needs a rub. I'll catch ya later, Lorelai," she called while turning to hurry down the street.

And again, Lorelai didn't have time to answer.

_Diner_

Luke looked down at the baby, at his niece and sighed. Of course he loved the girl, but he wasn't all that baby friendly. Or even kid friendly. And teenager friendly… well, he was still trying to figure that one out. It took him a while to nail down the parenting a kid thing, then he made the mistake of blinking and suddenly he was the father of a teen who was on the verge of turning 14. And now he had to look after a little baby.

The bells jingled and it being one of those weird, lull-like mornings, Luke looked up. The sound almost took him by surprise with the place being empty and his face perked up at the sight of Lorelai.

"So, I hear you can add babysitter to your resume," she said, her voice small while pointing to the baby.

"Liz needed a break," the man said while rounding the counter. "You okay?" he asked anxiously, his voice close as he found her eyes.

Lorelai nodded while trying to manage a smile, but of course, Luke could see right through her.

"Where is he?"

"Work."

Luke nodded in understanding. "Coffee?" he asked.

"Please."

He led her to a stool and she sat just in front of Duola while Luke went behind the counter, peaking at the car seat before going to start the coffee.

Lorelai leaned over the counter and smiled down at the girl who was busy sucking on a pacifier. "Hi, sweet girl," she cooed to the infant while rubbing the baby's tummy.

"Unbelievable, huh?"

"What is?" Lorelai asked, her attention on the baby .

"I'm an uncle. Again."

Lorelai looked up to give him a smile. "It is something," she said.

"Yup," Luke agreed through a sigh.

"So how long do you have her?"

Luke shrugged. "Liz said an hour tops so if I'm lucky, two- three hours."

"Well, this gives you some one on one time with your niece. Oh, and to-go," she said while realizing she had to be at the Inn soon.

"You're not staying?" Luke asked with a frown.

With a wince Lorelai said, "I'm already late."

Luke nodded while turning back to monitor the coffee as it brewed. He then gave her a full cup and she thanked him, turning to leave with a smile that left promise. He knew she would sit the guy down and talk to him, if not from all the evidence of the previous night, than the look she just gave him was worth one-thousand words. She would tell him.

He turned back to Duola, who at the moment, was looking around the room with very curious eyes. He suddenly wondered what it would be like to be a baby again. Full of innocence, no worries; a very simplistic life.

"Then you grow up," he whispered, and when he spoke she looked up at him. "And everything gets complicated." He sighed, taking his cap off and running a hand through his hair.

Duola cocked her head to the side, like she was actually listening to what he was saying.

"You meet the one you know you can never be without, but it's never easy; you get your heart broken, probably more than once, and you spend everyday wondering if it's all worth it."

The baby giggled at him, and he couldn't help it, he smiled back.

_Now I'm going crazy. Talking to a baby. Liz would have a field day if she saw this._

_Later... Dragonfly... _

"Yes, Mr. Harper, you're booked for next week," Lorelai said, in her business-like manner, "We look forward to seeing you here at the Dragonfly." She hung up the phone.

She was manning the desk while Michel took a break, even though he'd only been working for about an hour. She didn't pretend to understand, and she didn't care to.

Lorelai took the familiar route to the kitchen, to find Michel and Sookie in a classic fighting match.

"I know you put some yolk in this," Michel accused, while pointing a finger at Sookie, who looked like she was about to chop his tie with her cleaver, which was sitting dangerously close to her, on the counter. Uh oh.

"Michel, for the last time, I did not put any yolk in your 'no butter' omlette," she said through clenched teeth. "If you don't want it, I'm sure many of my hungry customers would love to take it off your hands," she offered with an overly sweet smile .

"Do not mock me!"

"Michel, if you do not take this omlette," she started, eyeing the cleaver, picking it up. Michel got wide eyed. "I am going to—"

That's when Lorelai felt it necessary to butt in. "Okay!" she said, getting their attention, "To your corners! Michel, back to work, Sookie put that sharp knife thingy down."

"You people disgust me." Michel muttered, turning on his heel to leave.

Once he was out of earshot, Sookie looked at Lorelai. "I swear, that man—" Lorelai held her hand up.

"I know," the Gilmore interupted, a look on fer face that clearly stated she wasn't in the mood to deal with this.

Sookie frowned and asked, "What's wrong? Something's wrong," she said, concern in her voice.

Lorelai shook her head. "Too much."

The chef reached to fill a mug with coffee, a move built from years of friendship. She then sat down next to Lorelai, who looked up at her friend, a half smile on her face. Sookie handed the cup to Lorelai and after a sip, the Gilmore told her long time best friend about the mess that's happened, the mess she and Luke created, the mess with Christopher... everything.

Lorelai was expecting shock, but really, Sookie wasn't all that surprised. She was just one among the many who knew all along that the Lorelai/Chris union wasn't right. She hoped the day would come when a stubborn Danes and a hardheaded Gilmore would get it together, suck it up, and move on. Start fresh.

The only problem was Lorelai was still with Christopher. That was a complication, a big complication and with the situation being something Lorelai couldn't really talk to Rory about, Sookie knew this one was on her. She nodded at the appropriate times, and gave the right kind of advice. So she unknowingly told the Gilmore to do what she already planned on doing—talk to Chris, end it, move on, start anew with Luke, but take things slow, work on it. That was the plan and hearing the same thing come from Sookie just reassured her that she could do this.

And so the day went on from there. Minutes ticked by slowly, hours went by carefully and the day dragged on and on. Lorelai must have peaked at the clock every other minute, being too nervous to focus on her work and get things done, she couldn't. Over and over again, she tried to come up with a speech, words to tell Christopher. Sentences crowded her mind, but flew out just seconds later. Nothing sounded right.

After a while, Lorelai couldn't take being at the desk anymore. Michel was getting on her nerves and she just wasn't in the mood to deal with customers. So instead, she hid away in her office, figuring some backed up paperwork would keep her busy and it did just that—that is, when her mind was dwelling on the Christopher thing. Which it did, a lot.

But the change of scenery didn't keep her occupied for long. The clock in her office was bigger, the sound louder, echoing through the small room and her thoughts were amplified. After no more than ten minutes, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Going to lunch," she said in passing, not breaking a stride on her way out.

Michel didn't even acknowledge her.

_Square_

Stars Hollow was a small town, and the options were even smaller. There was JoJo's, Al's, Teriyaki Joe's, Weston's, the Soda Shoppe, and Luke's—that was about it. Those were really the only places to eat. JoJo's was terrible, their burgers sucked. Al's could be dangerous, especially when he decides to go international, which he does about every other week. Teriyaki Joe's was okay, but they weren't open for lunch anymore, just dinner. Weston's only had desserts and the Soda Shoppe had candy. And so Luke's was the only place left.

Lorelai bit her lip, her body planted on the sidewalk a block away from the diner. Should she go back again? Probably not, but her tummy was growling and her fridge was stocked with things that needed preparing—Chris's doing, of course.

"Just go in, eat, get out," she told herself. And like a mantra, she chanted the words over and over again until she managed to convince herself that's what she would do.

_Diner_

The place was packed, people filling up about every chair.

"Hey, Lorelai," Casear said while moving passed her, the chef on his way to deliver food to a table.

"Hey," Lorelai said, but the man was gone, across the room when she did.

The Gilmore sighed while looking around. She spotted a few empty seats at the counter, but just as she went to claim one of them, an ear piercing scream rang through the noise, silencing the just loud crowd.

"Must be Doula," a voice murmured.

Lorelai looked up at the curtain with a frown. Of course babies cried, but when minutes ticked by and the sound didn't let up or soften, she got worried. She couldn't help it, she was a mom. 22 or not, Rory was still her kid and having had one for so long, she knew when to butt in.

At this point, Lorelai didn't care if someone saw her. She didn't care if someone knew she was slipping behind the curtain and running upstairs to help Luke with his crying niece. What did it matter? The very second Chris would come home, she would sit him down and tell him. Things would be over after that. And so she didn't try and sneak upstairs or bribe Kirk to create a diversion. Let the town talk. It was over anyway.

"Luke," she asked carefully while tapping on the door.

No answer.

She tried again, calling his name louder, but it was obvious nothing could be heard over the baby's screams, so she let herself in.

Luke was standing by the table, rocking Doula back and forth who was lying in her car seat, her face red and tears falling down her little cheeks.

"Hey."

The man nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a voice behind him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Thought you could use some help," she said while nudging her chin at the crying baby.

"Liz was supposed to be back by now," he complained. "I don't have food for her and I think she's hungry," he said helplessly.

"May I?" she asked while gesturing to the seat.

Luke took a step back, opening his arms to the baby.

With practiced hands, Lorelai scooped up Doula and held the girl close to her chest, automatically rocking her body back and forth. The swaying seemed to calm her down a bit as the baby's screams molded into cries and she nuzzled her face back and forth over Lorelai's chest.

"It's okay, little girl," Lorelai murmured while brushing her fingers across the bit of hair covering her head. "Is she on formula?"

Luke shook his head. "No, she's uh—you know, Liz—they um,"

Lorelai grinned. "Still can't say the B word, huh?"

"Nope."

"Well, I think you were right about the hungry thing," Lorelai said after holding her pinky to the girl's mouth and seeing her try and suck. "You check the diaper bag? She could have pumped and bottled it."

"You can do that?" Luke asked with a puzzled frown while reaching for the bag.

"Yeah, call it the eighth wonder of the world," Lorelai said distractedly while reaching for the pacifier on the table.

Luke searched through the bag, but looked up with a frown after emptying the contents and finding no milk.

"Nothing," he said just before the phone rang.

Luke ran to answer the phone while Lorelai paced back and forth, the circling-pacifier combo enough to keep Doula from screaming bloody murder for the time being.

"... What?... No, Liz, you can't... I know you have her all day... Well, someone has to work... that freak show doesn't count... Yeah, fine, you make money, but not enough to-... I have a diner to run, I can't babysit all day. You said an hour tops... But what about food, she's hungry?... No, Liz-... Fine, but if you're not back in two hours, I'm coming over there and dragging your ass out," he warned before hanging up.

"Phase two?"

Luke sighed. "Phase two."

Quickly, they hurried out to head for Doose's, on the hunt for formula. Really, only one of them had to go, but Luke had no idea what to get and Lorelai felt bad about leaving him with a crying baby, and so they both left.

They got to market quickly and while on the journey, Lorelai talked Luke through the rock and walk as best she could and because of this, Lorelai didn't notice Chris's car parked on the street. She was too distracted.

He was looking for flowers. He wanted to surprise his wife, apologize for his behavior lately, trying to push the baby thing. He even took half a day at work and planned a whole big evening at a very expensive restaurant.

She was looking for formula. She sent Luke to track down a bottle. They were just an aisle apart, Lorelai having seconds ago, given a fussy Doula to Luke before showing him how to hold the baby close to his heart and when he seemed to have a good handle on that, she swirled around to the next aisle. And of course, she ran into Chris.

To say the man was confused would be an understatement.

"Hey," he said with furrowed brows while swinging the flowers around to hide them behind his back.

Lorelai whipped out a quick smile. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I should ask you the same thing," he said with a smile.

"Hey, this one good? There's a million different sizes," Luke said, confused, while rounding the corner.

_Crap._ Lorelai mentally panicked.

Chris turned to find Luke standing behind him and like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes widened, darted to Lorelai, to Chris, then back to Lorelai.

"I, uh," he started nervously before grabbing the stroller and heading the other way.

Of course, not two seconds later, he doubled back. Bottle was no use without any formula.

Wordlessly, Lorelai handed him the baby's food and as fast as he came was as fast as he was gone.

"What the hell was that?"

Lorelai sighed. She didn't even think about making up some excuse, pulling a lie from nowhere. Instead, she took his hand and led him outside.

"Where are you parked?"

"Lorelai—"

"Chris, we really need to talk," she said, her voice and eyes serious.

The man shook his head. "Not until you tell me why you were buying crap with him and who's kid was that?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you and I really don't think this is a conversation we should have here."

He looked at her for a moment, skeptical. And then suddenly, his eyes narrowed. He noticed something missing from her hand.

"Where's your ring?" he demanded.

She was about to ask what he was talking about but after feeling her empty finger, she stopped herself, realizing it as probably still at Luke's.

"We need to go," she said, her voice urgent.

And this time, he didn't argue. And she didn't try and lie to him, say it fell off while she was doing dishes, something like that.

During the ride home, Chris had a feeling about exactly what they were about to talk about. And turns out, he was right.

_Crapshack_

Lorelai was in tears by now, the salty water trickling down her cheeks.

"You're just—you're not the one—I- I don't know what—I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I wish it could just be easy; I would love you and you would love me and I didn't love him, but it can't be that way. I do love him."

Chris nodded, his head down as he held her hands. "You never stopped." he said without looking at her and though he didn't exactly ask it like a question, but Lorelai felt compelled to answer.

She shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

"And your ring is—you and him—you were—you," he stuttered.

"No, I didn't cheat on you," she interrupted while wiping her eyes. "I'm not a cheater," she defended.

Chris sighed. "I can't even hate him for it. He was here. He won you fair and square."

"I'm not a prize, Chris," she murmured.

"You are," he insisted. "And you're worth fighting for and if I thought I had a shot in hell, I would fight for you. But I don't, do I? It all makes sense, why you wouldn't take my name, why you didn't wants kids with me, why the town wasn't interested in us…" he trailed off, "It's never been about you and me; it's _always _been you and him. And, I think the hardest part of all of this is that, deep down, I knew that, all along."

Lorelai shook her head, she didn't know what to say to all of that. "I'm sorry, Chris. You have no idea how sorry I am."

He nodded while looking up to give her a half smile. "I'm sorry too. You know, I made you jump and I shouldn't have. Whether I had a chance or not, I shouldn't have asked you to jump—well, insisted. Hell, I pushed you off the cliff."

Lorelai gave him a watery smile. "You know, I think there was always a part of me that wondered about us. At least I won't have to think 'what if' anymore."

"Yeah," Chris agreed. "We had our glory days. Thing of the past now, huh?"

Lorelai took a breath. "I'll always love you, Chris, I hope you know that. I mean Rory, she's the best thing in my life and without you, I wouldn't have her. I'll always be grateful to you for giving me her," she said sincerely.

"And I'll always wish I was around more," he said through a sigh.

"GiGi," she reminded him in a whisper.

Chris nodded. "Don't worry, I won't leave her. I'll do it right this time."

"Good. You're a good dad, Chris. And you're a good person when you want to be. She's lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Lor. You know I think you're supermom. I mean what you did, raising Rory... I still don't know how you did it," he said in awe.

Lorelai smiled. "Me either... I guess, I just jumped. Sometimes you have to jump."

"And sometimes you have to wait. Wait and see if its right."

"Yeah," Lorelai agreed, her voice soft.

"And sometimes it isn't, and you have to move on."

Lorelai nodded while squeezing his hand. "You'll find her," she whispered.

Chris nodded. "Just don't invite me to the wedding, okay?" he joked, though very serious. "Rather sit that one out."

"Aw, really? Cause I thought you could be Luke's best man."

"Over my dead body," he scoffed.

Soon they hugged and said there goodbyes. Chris left, planning to come back the next day with a moving truck to get his things and Lorelai wondered upstairs. She was tired, emotionally and physically tired. She just wanted to sleep for a while. Try and put her mind at ease.

_Diner…_

Liz had finally picked up Doula. He flipped the sign to 'closed' about twenty minutes ago. And he knew only one person who would ignore it. Luke was finding it hard not to look at the front door. For the first time in his life, he really wanted to hear the damn bell ring.

He sighed, wiping down the counter for the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes. He had nothing else to do, the chairs were up, the floor was swept, the receipts were checked. So his only option was to stand there and wait.

He wasn't even sure if she'd come. Who knew how long their talk would take, and he couldn't call her or anything; the last thing he wanted to do was be an interruption. He had early deliveries the next day, so he should hit the sack pretty soon, but his gut was telling him to wait, if only for a little bit longer.

He wanted to see her. He wanted so desperately to see her walk through that door, he wanted to embrace her and tell her everything was okay now.

He sighed, turning for the stairs, giving up. It was late, he had to get up early, he couldn't wait anymore.

But, before he could get his foot on the first step, he heard it. And he couldn't turn around fast enough. There she stood. He blinked a few times, making sure he wasn't dreaming.

"I couldn't sleep," she stated simply.

He nodded, waiting for her to say something else, her eyes the only bright thing in the dark room. When she didn't say anything, he walked over to her and wrapped his strong arms around the woman that he loved. And before she could stop herself, she was crying into his chest.

He didn't say anything, he didn't have to. She wrapped her arms around his back, returning the hug. "I told him everything…" she mumbled slowly.

"How'd it go?" he asked carefully, rubbing a hand through her hair.

"It was…okay, actually," she answered, surprising Luke, and herself. "He's never going to be, you know, my best friend or anything, but I think it was okay; we needed that talk, and I think, he finally…is okay with moving on."

"That's great Lorelai, really."

The Gilmore looked at him, just before he cupped her face, gently. And as he kissed her, she thought of all the times he'd been there for her…well, for her and Rory. The countless repairs, both at the crapshack, and the Inn, the way he always seemed to be one step ahead of her, never forgetting anything, the way he warmed up to Rory, doing all the unnecessary things he did for her, being the father figure she didn't have. But besides all of that, it was the little things that stuck.

The way he lit up whenever she entered the room. The way he knew exactly what she was thinking just by taking one glance at her face. The way he held her, and lifted her up when she was down. Their endless banter, and the advice back and forth, the way he just _was_.

When they parted, Luke gave her that smile. The smile that was just for her. "You okay?"

She smiled back. "Never better."

"Well, good, because I wanted to ask you something," Luke started and Lorelai didn't have a chance to say anything because he started up again. "You know, April is coming here for the summer, and we were planning the boat trip." She nodded, urging him to continue. "I was wondering if you'd like to come; like you said, you know all the great places to go, and I think April and me by ourselves for so long would make her go crazy. I think she'd like it if you came, she likes you. You know, of course I'd ask her, but I don't think she'd mind, and I really think this is what we need you know? A chance to get away, start fresh…"

"Luke, I don't know..." she hesitated. "I'd hate for me to be in the way; you should have this time with your daughter."

Luke shook his head, "Lorelai, no, it's going to be different this time, I swear to you, I will not," he paused, taking her hand in his. "Let you get away again."

Lorelai wiped a fresh tear off her cheek. "Luke…"

"Lorelai…I love you. And I know, before, I never said that enough, and I know, that a part of you may still doubt me, but, this time will be different. It will."

"I love you too," she replied, squeezing his hand tighter.

"The last thing I want to do is rush things, but, in my mind, right here and now, this feels right. If it doesn't for you, that's okay. But I think, sometimes, when your gut is telling you something you just have to…" He couldn't think of the right word.

"Jump?" she offered.

"Right, exactly," he said, glad she understood.

Lorelai looked up at him once more, "If you really want me there Luke, I'd be glad to come."

He gave her the biggest smile she's ever seen and kissed her softly. And as they hugged again, Lorelai couldn't help but think Chris was right. It had always been her and Luke, and for the first time in a long time, she believed it always would be.

**THE END...** **but stay tuned for the epilogue, aka, the boat trip!**

**Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed and we'd love some more!!!! **


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